Dose: 1 glass
Substance: Orange Juice
Experience level: I drink oj all the freakin time.
He sits in the chair staring at the wall. The world moves around him, people go about their duties, they tend to their thoughts, movements, emotions, and desires. The strings are pulled and the puppet dances. Someone tries to talk to him, he attempts a response but his random powerful thoughts race too quickly too potently, he forgets what he is saying when the next idea comes, he tries to form words but before two words emerge the next thought is enforcing it’s will. “But I….. could it only…. It’s like…. Ok….. yeah…. Or something ….. Space is… Almost touching…. Matter is solid, matter is no matter….” Forget it, language has become a stumbling block for this evolution. This form of language has become the jack hammer used to whittle intricacies into wood. Hard to pay attention, the mosaic of transforming images is overlaying itself upon this reality, it’s blanket is starting to conceal the veil.
The occasional breath and the automatic blinking are all that must be done. Heart pumps. The lights flicker and add a new dimension to his vision, the book in front of him stares at him in two dimensional quality while the light forces all to shimmer in purple and green, alternating colors in a different realm, simply peeking into the white surface…. White cannot be flat, and adding to the illusion, why do they paint the walls white? Don’t they know? Ok, relax clear the mind, that power hungry grey matter, why must it always enforce its will? Grey matter, is no matter. The mind is not you… the mind is a body part to be used. The ever presence within you is constantly being interpreted by the mind, the presence within needs to be conscious of itself, it is a separate entity. When old age or accident takes your life, the mind will die, the other is confused as it has never been developed, it still tries to see through the eyes of the long dead mind. All the worse the mind creates misdirection, it tells you that emotions are from the heart! The heart with it’s rippling muscles and valves knows no different. The pump at a well does not know when to turn on, it too is a puppet to the master. Trapped in here, trapped… trapped...... this damn fleshy kingdom.
Lids half closed, eyes on the level of his nose, he breathes deeply but with no exertion. Let something else control it, we must move upward right now, must ascend. Relax, forget about those feet, can’t feel the legs, arms are heavy, no there are no arms, hair stands on end, it too disappears. The body becomes relaxed, but hard and solid. All is quiet now. Inside the chest is a light tugging as electricity makes it squeeze, his heart is light and he is pulled up. All is quiet. All is quiet.
Upward and Inward
Pulled upward through a red flower…. One pedal for each cardinal direction. I open my eyes and find I am in the back of a car. They drive me down the road. I’m in the backseat and the driver is leaning over the front seat telling me a story, he talks with both hands. I watch us careen around a corner while he does not pay attention…. He makes the turn effortlessly, so I pay no mind I must trust him. Thousands of images and memories fly past the windshield almost too fast to hold onto. I nod but do not speak the same language as him, when he speaks colors change and no sound is made. There is one other in the car as well. I begin to understand their colorful language, The beings begin to describe their former existence. They are energy forces embodied just as I am but from another place. No more body cyrstals to view the light through. They inform me that we have a mission. I am told by the driver that we will succeed but we must all play off our instincts, that we cannot hesitate and must become one in movement. We are all travelers from opposite directions and we need to become one to succeed.
We pull over in an area where the ground is shrouded by fog. The fog is low and dense, it only comes to my waist. I jump onto the ground and find it is water, are we in a swamp somewhere? I cannot even see the water for the fog. The fog has a reddish grey tint to it here. Here at this house I can see that we are in a slow moving river. Up ahead is a clearing and there is a group of three men in heavy ropes across the river, they are walking slowly together. They stop for a minute to stare at us and continue on. They have some attachment to the house, I do not know if it is theirs or if they simply stayed here at the house for some time and are now moving on. I call to them as they are moving further and further away. As I walk towards them they disappear into the mist, a loud noise is made and they disappear into a flash of light. The noise made was something that started low and deep, it made a raise in frequency like a high pitched vibration and then became intolerably high pitched and sounds like it got further and further away until it disappeared. I cannot describe this sound and even now looking back I cannot fully remember if it was a sound, or a vibration, either way the frequency was so familiar, like I have heard it a million times before. The sound is almost a string or code of information, can a sound be intelligent? I do not know. The heavens cleared and I could see the stars. They are arranged in a way I have never seen before and there is an extra dimension to the heavens. There is a fourth quality, a deepness in noise emitted by the stars. Sound vibrations travel between these fiery suns.
My two companions are still nearby, they motion toward the house and I move with them. At the door my companions are scared, they do not know what is behind the door. I take the lead. The door is old grey wood, the handle is like a burnished metal. This old grey door has an added dimension to it. It very slowly almost impercievably expands and contracts as if it is breathing, everything is alive here.
I turn the handle and the door swings gently open. In the house. It’s no house I know. Seems I should, I remember it from another time, dusty mental imprints. The stairs are dangerous. My companions are scared and will not ascend… I’m always ascending, always stairs. Splintering wood beneath my foot I travel upward. Last step is perfect and a door. I open the door. There is an imprint of the previous owner. He was off and did not know this was his room anymore. I do know he had been in this room recently and did not know it was his. I wonder if he was a traveler as I am and viewed it from the outside like I did. Along the same lines, I wonder if this room is indeed mine and I simply did not know. I soaked it up. The stairs went on for a very long stretch and we came to another door. This door had the red four pedaled flower on it. My companions and I move as one as we open the door.
A bright light flashes and we are back in the river, the house is visible in the distance. We are certain much has occured but do not know what. Just being in the river we are being instructed, the water flows by, around and inside us. It is the message we came for, many thoughts flow gently within and without. We have received our instruction, cryptic as it may be, we can learn no more at this place, much has been revealed. The three of us get out of the water and find three robes on the shore. We put them on. We begin to walk along the river, away from the house. We stop and turn around to give one last look at the house and see three beings getting out of a car. They stop to stare at us, they look vaguely familiar. One of them is saying something, but it sounds like he is yelling underwater. I am sure I have seen them somewhere but it does not matter, we have our direction and must go. We turn away and walk into the mist. The three of us stop and take each others hands as we have been shown in the river. Our energies rise up they become coiled tighter and tighter like a three stranded rope under strain. This makes a vibration that is a sound. The sound is hard to understand, it is a pale comparison, a reflection in a dirty mirror of a purer sound. Our combined energies fly into the heavens and spin three times as we ascend toward a star. The star is white but has six huge orange flames erupting from it. Our energies vibrate and explode into the star.
The Star
The star has a moon which is also a star. It creates tides in this burning sea. We are on a ship on this burning ocean.
Green polished steel, overlapping plates. On the high tech ship. Metal everywhere like stainless steel but greenish and of a pattern I’ve never seen. Armed with strange weapons I am not familiar with. Demons attack my companions and myself from all angles. We can feel the presence of more powerful beings, they are watching us, the entire “war games” scenario is not real, it is testing us in other ways. Our reactions are perfect in many ways and we know we are doing better than any others. One attacker does not submit like he should, he is laughing and hysterical so I push him off a catwalk. The war game scenario ends abruptly. I know that I did great in all tests except I should have acted differently in regards to pushing the non-compliant person. We are told to go to THE floor…. We go into the hallway and find the elevator. The door opens up and we get in it. It is not an elevator like I have seen before, these are like looking at 1/4in plates on end. Each plate is only 4inches long. So a million 1/4inch by 4inch rectangles below and above us, on the sides the ¼ inch is maintained and long as if these plates extend upward. We hit a button and the plates below us begin to unfold into themselves below us until we are falling. One companion is scared at first as we are free falling, I am tickled by the wonderous sensation of weightlessness and I yell, this is GOT to be the greatest way to die…. I hope that I get too fall very far to my death. At this he smiles and yells something back. Large flash of light.
We are on a dark sandy plain. Nothing lives here, like the charred remains of a field. The sky is reddish and dark, there are no stars only reddish brown clouds. A pyramid is off on the horizon. It floats off the ground.
Hundreds of thousands of beings are marching up an inclined plane up toward this pyramid. At the end their energy is expended and they fall off the plane into the pyramid. They are offerings, I do not understand, it feels so wrong. I sense the energy dissapating into the air.... hatred, hunger, despair, greed, fear, selfishness all explodes into the air as the bodies tumble by the thousands. I can not withstand this horror.... all the life is going away. What is this place?
The Old House
With a group of other travelers. Several more than last time. My two original companions are here. We are walking in the burnt field. I have on a cloak and have a walking stick. We have our heads down and walk on. We walk for what feels like a near eternity. So tired, so tired. My souls feels fragile, it feels as if it shivers within my chest. I am still horrified about the pyramid, I do not understand. My companions and I see a small multileveled house on the horizon. The place is old, ancient beyond my understanding. It has not been kept well, the wood is rotten in a dry manner. The wood feels like no moisture has been in it for many lifetimes.
As night approached I refused to sleep inside the house and I slept on the porch. I do not know why I do this, the house has a strange feeling to it. An old power dwells within. My companions ignore my pleading and drift within to rest. I awake in the dark on the porch and a large shaggy black dog with squarish head and features is staring at me, he is right next to me. He asks if I am protecting those in the house, I answer I am just resting. I am terribly frightened and he says I am not to be, he did not come for me. He then enters the house. The most memorable part of the dog is his smell.... it is VERY primal, very strong animal scent mixed with death, he is a demon that takes life. All becomes dark.
I become aware again. The house is on top of a large hill. It was not before. I look off the porch and at the base of the hill straight down is a being screaming at me but I cannot understand. I walk around the porch and a spiral wound staircase ascends. I begin to walk up this staircase, there is nothing supporting it, it spirals into the sky. I walk around this staircase two and one half times. A door has a marking on it of a snake crawling up a pole. I open the door. I come upon a being dressed as a jester he has three blindfolds over his eyes and holds a picture of his face in front of his chest. He stands on one foot. His other leg is bent and the foot rests upon his knee. He does not move but his form shifts place in this room. I know him. I see him often. He points to a door, the door opens. I sit in a circle with several old beings. They are immortals.... They have left their bodies behind, they are part of the sound. I can tell their very presence is projected and they are elsewhere. I do not know if they even have a place where they reside or if they are just memories. I ask how I can make the sound and be with them. They hand me a pipe and a strange material. I ask what it is and the being in front of me sits and thinks for a moment searching for the word. He eventually says "Fuel" and motions for me to smoke.
I smoke. Everything I am seeing looks like I am seeing it through a television screen. It appears to be a projection of what I am supposed to be seeing but I can see it is not real. I turn my head and realize my reality is a freshly painted canvas. The paint of my reality smears and leaks. The colors darken and I am in a void. I remain here with nothing for such a long long time.
In a different house, I am a visitor here. This house is very pretty, very clean. Ever detail is perfection. I gaze out a large window and see a dog runs in the yard, there is a child out there. The sun is bright and warm. There is a man who says this is his house, he tries to make me feel comfortable and forgets who I am and wanders off saying "where am I?". Several more people wander into the room, they all walk in looking like they have a purpose and get there to only forget where they are going. Confusion abounds, everyone wanders mad. There is a great fanfare of some sort and all the people begin to get excited… they all look at me anxiously. The vibrations of energy intensify and the waves of energy tighten, getting faster and faster. A VERY tall man shows up. He wanders into the room and is speaking loudly. He is greeting them all enthusiastically. He greets every one of them as if they are lifelong friends. He is not able to see and is feeling his way along. He cannot hear very well and I have to yell to him. He understands what I am saying but it is hard due to his hearing. I look at someone else and say softly, “who is this man?" He yells back at me “of course it is me! I’ve been here a very very long time. I realize he can hear just fine but doesn’t think he can. I start looking at the other people in the room. Understanding dawns on me…. Everyone here is dead, and this is another fold of existence. I understand this man is not blind and deaf as at the end of his life. He spent so much time that way that is how he knows existence, he has no understanding his energy is not in a body that cannot be deaf or blind anymore, he is trapped in material based thinking and cannot progress. I make eye contact with him…. Our energies connect. He screams “remain alone.” We cannot cling... we cannot remain.... we must release.
I run out of this house. I run under the shade of a tree and scream "what does this mean? help me please, I am a small being and do not understand what I am seeing."
A large eagle spreads it's wings. Our thoughts pass to one another. I cannot speak to him, nor him me. He shows me images to convey his thoughts. I see in my mind the pyramid again with the people falling into it. I misunderstood the signs. Those people were ones who gave up their existence to become one.... to become whole again. The last house I visited were those that clung, they could not release. Like a person being washed down aflood, they clung to the edge beyond all reason, it drives them mad, no one can hold on. The eagle gives no more than he must and leaves, but I sense he is watching for me. Pastel smooth canvas covers everything as it shifts slighlt in color.... like a rainbow smashed flat. I feel his protection.
Demon Bully
The girl was pretty in an ethereal way. She wanted me to come with her. I’m curious and always go. Two, were there were there was once one. He had nails driven through his mouth. Sharp rusty spikes. I didn’t really know where I was and so I just smiled. I remember a table and the other guy just stood facing the wrong way, no doubt the ‘strong arm’. Rusty spike guy yelled at me in a one syllable deep blue hum. They did not want me there, he wanted to know why I kept coming. He warned me to stay away and never interfere with them. He warned me that he was powerful and I was not…. I spit out a slug and the nails in his mouth became antennae, he made the low vibration all lower life forms make and I laughed at him. “Grub god, I shall call you! You have no power over me, I am a free man and you do not even have a body.”
The grub god shrunk in size and I told him to leave me alone, this is my time and I will not be controlled by some weak creature. He crawled away, the low hum was barely precievable.
In this place were many manner of creatures. All ugly and horrifying. I saw that this was yet another test, but to what end? They would certainly destroy me, but whenever they came near, the pastel light would appear and they would slink away. I walked up the hill and meditated there.
I dreamt I was on a bus. The vibrations were warm and felt good. We got to a place to stop. The mountains and trees are rippling like heat waves off pavement. The wood panels swim in a warm relaxing way. A feminine being gave me some food in a tortilla like material, paisley grease swims under the skin of flour. I’m not hungry for food. Another sits across the table, when I look at him and see his eyes I see that water. I don’t know why water, but that’s his element…. I feel like brown dirt, dry and solid. I can feel the dryness like a weight on my skin, it pushes down on me. I look up at the ceiling and can see the stars clearly, my skin is tight like it feels on a sunny day. I look over and see the full moon, it’s radiance is cooking my skin, it feels good. Dark shadows fall and I am in a haunted house, shadows become long and take on strange forms. Laughing bounces off the walls. He talks of horses he sees in the light. I do not see them and am jealous. He mentions that I am jealous but shouldn’t be, I don’t like horses anyway. As he talks I can hear it echo off the walls… it’s strange that sound travels in such ways.
I sense the pyramid is near. I can feel it pushing information into my head, but I cannot understand it. The overload is too much, the sun rises in the darkness, from this dark sun comes rays comprised of shapes and forms, it is a language. I cannot speak this language, the load is too heavy, the spirals are tightening and spinning faster as the information pours in. The pyramid is far above me radiating this information.... I sense beings within it, but it is also one whole being, it is so powerful I cannot resist it. Clocks are bouncing in the vacuum of my mind, I see these clocks exploding as springs and numbers are bouncing in the void. Wrist watches on fire, the ticking is speeding and slowing. There is no time, everything is experienced by him at the same time. This is the lesson, the overload of experiencing everything at once.... I am filled with enough of him to understand this. He doesn't understand time, it is non existent to him, it all happens at once. I am to understand this sensation of infinite, everything occuring and de-occuring at once. I call to the eagles, "please stop this!" but they sit aside the pyramid and watch. He is insane.
In the Desert
I open my eyes and am in a different body. I am much older. I feel the gritty sand below my feet. In flashes I see the sky, the sandy plain and grasses, the canvas of the tent. I know this life, I've done this before, all the memories of this life flash before my eyes. I have three sons, they are out tending the flock. I walk back into the tent and sit on a rug. Drinking the water is sweet, I feel a tension in my chest, like something huge is sitting on me. I sense the eagles high above, this is a time before time. This is the time of the first prophet. Humanity does not see the signs. The fire will soon sweep the land, only a few are to be spared.... they are to be lifted and set back down after the last flames. The eagle comes to me and tells me I need to be one with "the all powerful" when he comes, do not fight it, release. I am so scared. This is the end of the age of the first prophet, the first son. The pyramid is near, I can sense it.... I lay face down on the rug, it is going to take me with it.... the pyramid has tentacles and I can feel it above me, the sound the sound, it is pure power. This string of sound is it's name, when the name is complete I will be gone.
I am in another body in a later history.... This age is nearly over, this is the end of the age of the third prophet. The world grows dark and so cold. It will all freeze today. I remember all of this life, but I must forget it all, there is nothing but him, he is all that is. I must release any memory or experience, there is only one now. I am atop a stepped pyramid as the Pyramid god himself is coming down. The pressure in my chest is immense, my heart is beating so hard it is like getting hit with a hammer at every pump. Chanting becomes louder and louder. The priest raises his knife for the killing blow but it does not matter, my heart has already exploded, I heard the pyramid god's sound and it was too much, I am dead before the final blow.
In a temple. The eagles are here. The end of this age is near, The second son has come and gone. The eagle gave me a vision of water covering the world. He shows me another vision on how to empty and purify my body. I must do this to be saved. I shave all the hair off my body. I bathe very carefully. I drink a potion he taught me to make and I can feel all of my fluids needing to leave my body. I find a place and release them all. Kidneys feel full of sand, my hands are sweating and swollen, my feet and legs are so cold. My torso is so hot, too hot, I can feel myself dying on the insides as everything shuts down. I lay on the floor and feel as everything begins to shut down. Crystal visions are floating through my mind. "He" the one is coming soon to claim me. I feel him coming down. Whirlwinds of fire and color, the sound.... the sound is all, I can feel all the others that have been absorbed, they are with him. I am with him. I feel the last blood in my brain cease and feel it seizing, the lights flicker and the sound becomes more clear all the time. I am looking at my body as I ascend into the Pyramid.
I am looking at my legs. They are brown, my barefeet are in the river. Reeds all around the river. He is coming to claim us. The pyramid is right above us. We were told to gather here, I remember this. The sound begins. Those of us on that river bank are playing stringed instruments. Ther pyramid has ten thousand arms underneathe.... we play our instruments in praise of "it's" glory. Swaying along with the sound that will dissolve all. Exalting in it's majesty, we play on harder and faster. Was prepared for this moment. No pain, no fear, I will leave this body crystal behind. I close my eyes and there are a million intricate patterns in my mind's eye. As each of us leaves our bodies the patterns are overlayed onto another patterns, the vision is becoming fuller and fuller, pure love as hundreds, thousands, millions overlay one another to one cohesive pattern, one perfect image.... we are one when inside him.
The Pyramid
He is indifferent. He is good. He is evil. He is truth. He is lie. He is nothing. He is everything. He is not of this place. He does not know where or when he came. He does not care. He is all powerful. He is weaker than a slight breeze. He can not remember. He is glorious. He is terrible. He is All. He was here at the beggining. He is here long after the end. He has no understanding. He does not know what he is. He knows everything that was or will be at once, in the blink of an eye.
Inside, we are the love. we are the power. we are the fuel. we are the past. we are the present. we are the future. we are a part of him as individuals. we are one hundred million shards of glass. we are all of him when we are together. we are so he can remember. we are so he can remember. we are so he can remember. We cannot forget. Remember that we are the fallen, we always come back. Downpour of his word like so many rain drops on this earth.
"We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."