Sorry guys, can't seem to write a short post
But I really would like some feed back on this.
Hello all! The previous two days were my first experiences with dmt. And something that occurred to me a long time ago has resurfaced. I am wondering what everyone’s take on it is.
I have extensive experience with mushrooms and lsd (and other substances that are commonly delivered on blotter and gel tabs). Very early on in my trials, I had what was, to date, the most challenging and overwhelming experience I have faced. This occurred on two hits of lsd (presumably lsd). Three other friends took the same dose and product and had “typical” run of the mill experiences. However, they left to explore and I remained at our apartment by myself. Over the next 10 years, I had several hundred trips with varying dosages (many FAR exceeding those 2 hits).
Fast forward 20ish years. I try dmt for the first time. I load ~10mg of freebase dmt into a “machine.” I exhale completely and start vaping. I inhale thick, voluminous freely flowing vapor until my lungs have reached full capacity. The flame of my lighter was never closer than ~3 inches (never touched the machine). It was not harsh and there was no burnt plastic smell. I held this in and counted to 20. I exhaled. It immediately hit me but the experience was under-whelming. I was however, struck with a bit of panic and quite a bit of fear. I definitely resisted. I closed my eyes and visually the experience was only a few degrees more vivid than when I perform some focused visual meditation. But it was quite intense emotionally and psychologically.
I wanted to asses dosage, so the next day I decided to clear my machine. Definitely some spice left. Same method but vapor was not as thick and simply didn’t flow at the same rate. It stopped producing at half lung capacity. I didn’t hold it in. I immediately exhaled and it instantaneously threw me into full on tripping. Balls to the walls, as we used to say. I closed my eyes and was fully immersed in a kaleidoscopic world with a geometric framework. I was connected to it and felt oneness. I also found myself observing my thoughts. I had no fear this time tho. There was no resisting because I was immediately there. I was there about 5 minutes. After opening my eyes, I was in a full mushroom like trip. That lasted another 5 minutes.
So my question is, how much does dose really matter? I long ago concluded that it was much more about one’s mental state. That the substance was more of an “catalytic” action and the result was more about what one’s mind/psyche would allow or how freely one would let go of control.
Also, it seems that many accounts say that each experience takes one a bit deeper. Am I perhaps fortunate to be exposed to the experience in this way? I did set this as my intent because I did not want to blast off and breakthrough right away. But now, I’m a little bit concerned about dosage, or rather uncertain how much it matters. Perhaps I should still just load 10mg next time, and try to take it all in two hits. Seems reasonable. But I think that my result in full launch which I’m still not sure I’m quite ready for. But if I’m not ready, perhaps it just won’t happen??
That being said, I'm sure if I loaded 20mg and took three full lungfulls, I would breakthrough
But I would like to go just a little deeper next time.