I rolled a ‘two-skinner’ using around 300mg of a 1:1 Changa, made with a mix of finely ground caapi vine, passion flower, pau d’arco and mullein. Changa is the only way I use DMT at present, or at the very least in an enhanced leaf blend. The intention was to see how deep I could go using long, slow draws from a joint – I would take three long inhalations, all held until the exhalation was clear, ride the peak and hit it again on the exit to remain in sub-breakthrough or push deeper - and sort of stepping up to breakthrough, but I couldn’t have anticipated how far I would be taken or the impact this experience would have. This isn’t a happy, lovely trip-report, but I can’t describe it as entirely unpleasant either. It was seriously rough, if not hellishly difficult at points, but ultimately worthwhile and an experience which will take some time to integrate.

The first entry into hyperspace was gradual, warm and sensuous, the familiar visuals and tactile softness began as I sank back into it. There was that sense of an ‘other’, a feminine energy, communicating ‘telepathically’ that she would take care of me. It was blissful, jewel-like perception as the visual field broke into evolving patterns. I laughed and felt myself mouth the words “what the fuck is this?”, astonished as always by how powerful this stuff is, and found that every sensation became sexualized. I remembered that I had intended to experiment with mantra so started silently reciting “Namo Amitabha Buddha”, but attention was pulled away all of a sudden to the way that the words themselves evolved in the same way as the patterns of light did. Without wanting to sound unappreciative of the beauty that is sub-breakthrough DMT, it was a fairly typical sub-breakthrough experience but I had set my intent and so decided, at the peak of this session, to hit the joint again in the same fashion as before.

Something that just came back to mind was that, at one point between the first and second stages of the experience, I could hear my dog drinking from his bowl. At that point, it was the funniest thing in the world as it kept recurring in a fractal pattern that defies description.

My memory right now is still a little blurred, but I recall taking another two or three big hits from the joint and lying down on the couch. The feminine presence seemed to say “so you want to breakthrough do you?”, in a way I can only describe as being like having a lover tease you; it was as it she was challenging me in this playful way. I opened my eyes and laughed out loud, reached over and grabbed the joint to take another few hits…from this point, things got decidedly weird and I suspect I may have overdone it. I fell back onto the cushions as the bliss overcame me, it felt like I was having sex with the universe. I pulled a cover over myself, the fabric touched my skin and felt like a whole-body orgasm; my body was filled with rolling, undulating energy as I found myself running my hands over my face and neck. It was here I noticed that I had no control whatsoever over my body or mind; “I” as consciousness was dissolved into the totality of every sensation.

I remember sitting upright and reaching for the laptop. I wrote one note and fell back into the trance:

With the afterglow still lingering and no sense of there being one who is typing separate from the. How can I begin to organize my thoughts on this stuff, they’re coherent enough but it’s something unusual about the way it so completely…

I just remember as I wrote this, that I grabbed the joint and smoked the last bit in one slow hit before slumping back and pulling the covers over my head. I recall there being zero visuals, nothing but this disembodied voice which seemed to come from outside of “me” and spent the entire time telling me this one specific thing. I can’t go into detail about it here, but suffice to say it was deeply personal. It wasn’t something I wanted to hear and so what followed was, by my estimation as I can’t even remember what time it was when I basically blacked out, a 40 minute ride through my own neuroses and repressed psychological content.

What was really interesting about this is how completely real that presence felt throughout the experience. I got into a dialogue with it, but even the communications which seemed to be coming from me seemed totally disconnected from what was experiencing it, i.e. consciousness. I kept giving this ‘thing’ evidence to prove it wrong but it continually told me the same thing. I was throwing out feelings, showing mental images, demonstrating chemical reactions and trying to show it that it was wrong. Somehow, I felt as though I was being taught something that I couldn’t even argue with, even if I did have evidence to the contrary. I ‘tried on’ the reality tunnel it was offering me and found that it didn’t fit, but it seemed to insist that I should accept it. Things aren’t very clear after this, I smoked too much and more quickly that I intended as I’m fairly sure I either fell asleep from exhaustion or passed out completely.

There are flashes of being told not to come back and being told that “this is not for you”, but the source of those admonitions was, on inspection, my own fear of repeating this experience. I remember falling in and out of waking around, on looking at the clock, 90 minutes later and still feeling completely destroyed on every level. It felt incredible but terrifying at the same time, I completely forgot how to function in the world or what anything was. I saw how my entire experience is made up of measurement, words, maps and models. I found that I knew nothing at all anymore, everything was gone; even though I knew it was down to DMT, it was still mind-shattering at a level I can’t yet understand.

I remember bits and pieces now, but for the last 24 hours I’ve been feeling the effects. I really need to examine this objectively over the next few days, but I’m going back in tonight. This was different to anything I’ve experienced thus far with DMT, it felt more like what I’d imagine ayahuasca to feel like and it went on a for a lot longer than any other experience I’ve had. We’ll see what tonight’s experiments bring, and I’ll be approaching things with a little more care this time…

Nah, it was an MHRB extraction. DMT almost always involves some level of sexual vibe for me.

I ended up going back into hyperspace with the same Changa mix and realizing exactly where I'd gone wrong in the set-up in the earlier report. I smoked about five times the following night and had wonderful experiences every time. Since then I've been experimenting with micro-dosing using Changa; taking 5-10mg or less of the whole mix (around 2.5-5mg or less of DMT) and sprinkling it into a joint with noticeable, not to mention lasting effects. I've even tried dosing smaller while in work by sprinkling a pinch into a hand-rolled cigarette, which does make the day a little more interesting! It's very, very subtle but noticeable in its effects and gives a certain shimmering clarity to things.

I'll post a more interesting report over the weekend 'cause I've got a batch of Changa drying out as I type.