I got a new milestone on DMT. It's going fast! It's like all my experiences up until now have resulted in this tailor-made experience that exactly fits me as a person, and tests everything i have learned from dmt up until now.

An entire 360 degree vision of batshit insane images of utter madness came flying at me. So much negativity, i choose not to engage on anything at all.

I have a fool-proof method for dealing with this shit that has never failed me as of yet. I sit in lotus-position, and i focus on my breath and breath alone. While holding on to my marbles it becomes only natural to make mantras and repeat them in your mind, like. "I only belief in myself. I know myself, there is myself, i am sure of only myself." (Implying, All this crazy shit going on around me is not really happening. I don't believe any of it , only myself)

As i was immersed in visions and audio i closed my eyes. Opened them. Closed them again. Nothing changed, there was no escape from the visuals.

I had difficulty paying attention to much of what i saw, there was seemingly enormous amounts of things happening in my perephical vision. I choose only to engage in things that where not hellish in nature.

I saw two doors, and i remember a man, coming at me. When i was not 360 bathing in visuals and reality started to come back, the last thing i remember seeing is this shade of a man. Coming towards me. With some hyperspatial qualities to the man. Like psychedelic colours.

Doorways in my brain where opened. Lost archives of my hopes/dreams/fears. And slowly, i came back to reality. The touch of millions of my tiny hairs touching the back of my neck was almost unbearable, that's how sensitive i was. I saw swarms of little creatures (bacteria) walking on my eyeballs. Obscuring my vision slightly.

Coming down, i was disappointed. I did not break through. I wanted to experience ego-death and thought this must be coming close to one.

Put 50-65mg of dmt in the pipe, i inhaled a big clean hit of aprox. 30mg without exhaling any smoke. I burned some of the spice and decided to stop there, inhaled the last hit of partially burned dmt. Felt into the effects. No buzzing sound, no hallucinations. NADA! I doubt that my pupils where even dilated. Just an external thought in my mind saying 'You are just not ready'

I did experience 20 minutes of heightened awareness, like a mild mushroom trip. Nothing more. I think all of the above was entirely played in the safety of my own headspace. Giving me loads of things to ponder about and seems like the perfect practice session for a real breakthrough into alternate realities where loads of dangerous things might be coming at me.