This trip, and my most recent one.. have both been, well.. 'at the doctors'.

No no no no.. not at the reeeeeal Doctors.

Felt like I was 12. And, I was in a room. Closed off, one of those rooms that has a two way mirror in it, and all made up for children. Toys, a table, some chairs. Maybe somebody else was in there with me.. maybe an adult. Watching. Monitoring my actions. Behind that glass. For a few moments.. I was watching myself, or, this child, in that room, and I had a third person like view. I could make out just enough of the other room to see somebody sitting at a desk. It was real dark in there. Rifling through papers. Always knowing what I'm doing though. Always, has another eye on me.

I've always felt a presence next to me while in hyperspace. Specifically on my right. Always just out of sight. But, most definitly, always there.

So, I'm in the room, doing whatever it is I'm doing, which apparently isn't to important. Because the next thing I know, I believe.. I'm trying to get out. Escape. Everytime I get out a door, visions explode in my eyes. I can't see anything but amazing floral fractals, geometry gone wild, making me stop in my footsteps. Easier for them to catch me. RUN! I'm moving again, the visions still everywhere, but I can see out of the corners of my eyes, and all around the edge of my vision.
The walls.. are an off blue color. Maybe from the huge, bright lights lining the ceilings, never missing a beat. Almost to bright to look up at.
Don't lose focus, they'll get you.

The floors, almost look like hospital floors, or, supermarket floors. Tiled. Shiney. Spotless. (Well.. maybe not supermarket floors, but, you get the picture )

I can hear them. Or, her, more specifically. That person I thought was in the room with me, monitoring me. She's been on my ass this whole time.
If these floors wern't so shiny.. If I could only keep my focus..
She's right behind me, I think there's alarms going off, buzzers or something.
The doors, were like, something from fallout, or star trek. Very metallic, and very shiny.
The visions just kept getting more intense. I can't even see out of the corners of my eyes anymore. Everything I see is flowers.. growing everywhere, into everything. Becoming more and more detailed. Patterns inside of the patterns.
Everything was purple-ish too.
All different shades, and hues. Maybe a few blues, in there sparingly.
It's just to much..

I've gone and opened my eyes.
I remembered... well, I remembered I had eyes. And that they were open.
And, almost all I could see was just patterns. Those, same, exact patterns.
Well.. that means, I need to move!! That.. those.. people were after me.
But.. wait a minute, I'm sitting down? Real comfortable and all? I'm not scared. There's no people. But..?
Wow.. look at these freakin colors!? Yea, this is cool. I'm stickin with this one.
(That.. reminds me. I think I got stuck, somewhere in that trip, and I couldn't seem to pick the right place to go back to. I think, I almost know I read about it recently here, in somebodies trip report, I'll have to find it, but, I was looking at this, almost orange shaped, yea, the fruit, peeled shape, and each slice was a different color. I was picking them so fast.. it was hard to realize what was even going on. But, each color would bring me to just patterns, every where you could see. Everything. But, each color was 100% different, and in just that color. Blue=blues, and so on.)
Slowly it all came back to me, but everything was still, colors beyond belief. Which.. is still my favorite part of the spice. I still get lost with my eyes open.

I never really had the.. want, to get up and run, at any point. When I opened my eyes, and still saw the patterns, it's what I knew I should do, but, it didn't feel right to do it. That place, was waaaay to different from this place, and I'm not even moving here, so.. why start now.

That.. presence that I felt, and sort of saw, to the right of me, is there, almost every time I breakthrough. It's like a little sliver of my view on this whole thing, that peice is its'. Or, that's where it hangs out.
Maybe.. he's just a passenger.? He does always seem dark though.. and ominous feeling. I usually forget about him right when I see him though. Like.. I'll notice it's there, that feeling, and try to pay attention to it more than whatever else. I'll realize something else is actually there, and it'll become dark.
It's hard to describe.. what noticing it really feels like.. It's one of those weird emotions you get over there, the ones that you just can't quite grasp fully.
But, I'll aim my focus on it more, and try to see what it is, and it just feels wrong, not good. Don't do that.
So.. I don't. I remember what else is going on, right over there!
LOOK AT THAAT!

Ya know.. talking about it, thinking about it. Gives me the idea to actually go on and try to confront it next time. Suck up that weird feeling, and just go say hi.
Why are you always hanging around?

But.. this doctors office, it was a weird, weird place. It felt, like it should really be there. Not really here, in this spot, where I am. But, there, somewhere. A real, actual structure. With people, whatever they might be, inside of it. Going about their own business.
Like, that was just a clip from some real event, just like the stuff that goes on in our world, daily.

I went there last time too. But, it was a little different, and I don't think I was the same person.
I could remember it, the whole damn trip, in the afterglow, perfectly..
When I decided to start writing this..


Hope you all enjoyed the first person narative that I just now realized I typed this in.

Soy sos,

I had an experience once where a sliding door portal appeared and I was ushered in. There were all of these futuristic looking humans moving about, looking at charts, discussing "patients" prognosis etc. it was very strange. I had this feeling that I wasn't suppose to be there.

Have you ever read Orfeo: A Dialog between Robert Hunter and Terrence Mckenna? In it they both talk about the Doctors office and maternity ward experience.

Here is an excerpt:

This feeling of important process with grown up overtones and yet with an element of the childish and silly came to remind me of the vibe of a maternity or pediatric ward; high tech, life and death stuff is going on. But they have closets full of teddy bears and the wall paper patterns are all dancing bears and mice in tutus. I have wondered if the wondrous objects offered by the tykes in the DMT encounter, for all their power to stand our world on its head, may be, in that world, no more than plastic geometric shapes strung on a rope and hung over an infant's bassinet for its amusement and to teach it spatial and color coordination. They are no more than toys. But the maternity ward metaphor goes deeper. There is a feeling of arrival, of anxious doctors, and a sense of enormous decompression and relief. Come to think of it, decompression is a good metaphor for how DMT makes me feel, it is as if I has returned at last to my natural medium of existence, having left a zone of constriction and pressurized limitation, hence I feel inflated in every sense in that place.

If you haven't read the Orfeo letters, I highly recommend you do.

Here's a link to them.

http://www.levity.com/orfeo/

[]Deace

Both of the 'doctors' I could remember, had charts, or pads, or something they were writing down things on.

I had something like that same feeling, only it was me, my actual self, wasn't suppose to see this stuff yet. That's why I went into third person mode a few times. Something was bouncing me away. But.. this place was way to interesting to leave.. for now.

Those letters.. sound really interesting. Pediatric ward.. That's almost exactly like it felt, to me. A childrens doctor.
The testings themselves must have been to amazing for my to handle, because I couldn't remember any.

But, I'll have to look into those letters. Just that little excerpt reminds me alot of my journey.