PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: good but nervous
(physical condition) Set: tip top
Setting (location): bedroom
time of day: 12am
recent drug use: non
last meal: pizza

PARTICIPANT
Gender: male
body weight: 75kg
history of use: 7 month DMT usage

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): Jimjam pharma
Dose(s): 4g rue/70mg jimjam
Method of administration: both in juice


EFFECTS
Administration time: 12am
Duration: 5hrs to sleep
First effects: 30m-1hr

Intensity (overall): 2.5
Evaluation / notes: lovely

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: 4
Implesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 3
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AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover: 0
Afterglow: 2

REPORT

The Genie of the Pharm
Thursday 16th February

Last night I was getting prepared to take a journey, it was to be a pharmahuasca journey and I was pretty nervous as I didn’t know what to expect. The DMT flash is the most incredible thing I have ever come across, but pharma doesn’t provide a flash, it flicks on the switch and provides you with a chance to bask in the glory of the light, it stretchs the flash to a degree where it will consume your being for not 5 minutes but for hours. I have a level of anxiety which comes over me a few hours before a flash which is certainly seems strange in its origin, anxiety for an event which up until now has only yielded the most incredible of experiences seems strange but still it seems to persist and I am glad it does.

I have tried pharma twice before but to no avail. On each of these occasions I have used a low dose as this is not the kind of thing that any sensible man recklessly jumps into, to over shoot the mark when dealing with these sacred plants may not result in any direct physical harm, but it does, in my opinion, show a distinct lack of respect for their power. Over shooting the mark by foolishly diving in not only shows a lack of respect, but it could leave you in a very unpleasant place for what could end up being an eternity.

It was Weds night and I had the next 5 days off work and the time felt right for another attempt at stretching the flash. The anxiety I had was not the same as the normal feeling which occurrs before a vaped DMT journey, I knew that the experience would not be as intense but it would last considerably longer. I sat in my room and decided that before I consumed my Rue and Jimjam that I would settle my anxiety by vaping some Jimjam.

I tried a small hit of 20x Caapi 1:1 Chalichanga, I loaded a small amount and the feeling was of a quite intense body load from the Caapi but there were no accompanying visuals, I settled into the experience and sat excepting the sensation of the hamala heavy vapour filling my body.
The pre journey anxiety is a strange thing for me, I see it like a sacrifice, it is all I have to offer of any real meaning, I hold out my fear in both hands in hope that it will be a sufficient offering to grant me safe passage. This first small hit alleviated my anxiety somewhat however the dosage was not high enough to open the gates and my offering could not be passed on.

I reloaded my pipe with some infused herb and took a second hit, I had loaded slightly more than I wanted to take in a single hit as I thought it would take me more than 1 attempt to clear it. I was planning on taking a few small hits to maintain a low level experience and relieve the anxiety.

Well, this didn’t happen, I unintentionally vaped the whole bowl in a single hit.

This was definitely not the way to warm up, it was like doing a 100m sprint to warm up for a marathon.

It ground me up to powder loaded me into a firework and blasted me off into the cosmos, it produced immense flash’s of insanity, it felt faster than anything, at anytime, anywhere in all of the history of everything. I have very little recollection of what happened. 1 moment of the flash contained something to do with being told my house was on fire and that I was to effected to do anything about it, I had fucked up somehow and was not able to leave my house, I was to burn. Then another part of the flash had something to do with my Ma but I have no idea what. These 2 things are all I can bring back and to be honest they are very hazy, I can’t remember them as much as I just know that they happened. It was the fastest craziest brain overload so far, I dropped back into the room with no idea where or what I was but I knew I had experienced something amazing. I was curled up in the centre of my bed giggling to myself saying, thank you, thank you, thank you to whatever had given me this experience.

Since NYE I have had a strange feeling toward the DMT experience, I had quite a lot of difficulty integrating that experience into my life and my reality, it had forced me to change and I didn’t know how to apply this change. I had entertained the idea that I may never do DMT again, not through fear or from bad experience but through the fact that if it was in anyway real then I didn’t think I wanted to know the truth, I didn’t know if my monkey brain could handle the truth and thought I would be better off living in blissful ignorance, NYE had shown me what I had wished for my entire life but maybe I should have been more careful of what that was.

This "warm up" dose was like a rebaptism of fire, I came out of it cleansed of the confusion and fear of the DMTruth that had built on NYE, it was the final piece of the integration puzzle that I couldn’t find in the box of reality. I felt that I could now continue my work in the way in which it had begun, my exploration and discovery was back on track with this return to the amazing feeling of the spirit molecule, it was like being hit for 6 by the hyperspace cricket bat of righteousness, it had thoroughly smashed me, but it was so good.

I lay on my bed with the thought that if I was to stick to the plan then I should be taking the Rue now, but I have a tendency to be very content with a single experience of this nature. When I am allowed to experience something as special as this I feel like it would be greedy or disrespectful to want to take anymore.

Happy that I was back on track I spent the next few hours listening to music and smiling to myself.

The next morning I got up and went climbing, I stopped at the climbing shop to pick up a brush, some tape and some climb on. Climb on is a turbo moisturiser and is great for regrowing skin, it is made from bees wax and lots of other lovely natural ingredients and smells lush, so when I got back to my car I opened it up to have a sniff. Inside the tin, along with the moisturising bar, was an ingredients/info leaflet, to my amazement at the top of this small thin piece of paper it had a quote which read…..

"Eternity is the living reality of who you are" - Eckhart Tolle

This was a sign, the universe was letting me know what I had to do.

I climbed well and a few hours later I left the crag in high spirits. I had a few hours to kill so I went to see my Dad, I brought up the topic of consciousness and true reality and something I had read about how colour might not exist. I told him how I had decided against believing in consensus reality and some of my reasons for this. He looked at me strangely as I tried to explain myself, I’m getting used to this look as people seem to be giving it to me quite frequently these days. I left my Dads in high spirits and made a stop to see an old friend who I had not seen for a while. We ate pizza and chatted, I spoke about how I had started to listen to some Tool songs and how I loved the track Rosetta Stoned, he had been listening to Tool for years and he recommended me some albums. After a few hours I said my goodbyes and made my way home.

I got back to my place at around 10.30pm and I began to prepare for what I knew I must do.

I had 150 mg of 1:1 Jimjam infused herb in some orange juice from the night before and also 4g of ground rue seeds in a cup. I measured out some doses of Jimjam infused herb and put them in my pill box ready for later. I browsed the Nexus for a short time as I waited for midnight. Around 12am I took my Rue and proceeded to sit and wait. My plan was to sit in silence, I had begun a twice daily meditation practice the week before, I would sit once in the morning when I woke up and once again before I went to sleep. Each of these mindful sittings have been for 20 mins which was just the right amount of time between administration of the 2 teachers so it seemed perfect.

All of a sudden a familiar voice popped into my head...

"The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic, is that the world is made of words. And if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make it whatever you wish"

Nice one Terrence, good idea.

I lay back and scrolled through my iPod. At the beginning of the list is Anis Mojgani, a man who’s use of language is both beautiful and striking, he one of the few people who can match Mr Mckenna in igniting my imagination. I drank my Rue, lay back, and hit play, allowing his superbly crafted words to wash over me.

Suddenly I knew it was time, I quickly sat up and reached out for the shot glass of orange juice, “cheers”, I raised my glass to existence, took a deep breath, and took my medicine. There was no going back now, it was just a matter of time until the effects began to take hold. I lay back down and once again dissolved into the exquisiteness of the language coming from my headphones.

I lay there for a while before I started to twitch randomly, every 5 mins or so I would have a leg twitch or my stomach muscles would have a little wobble, here we go I thought. I felt relaxed and prepared so I knew the rue was doing its job and I had accepted that what would be, would be, my anxiety was virtually nonexistent as I lay with closed eyes. Things began to appear, wisps of coloured smoke and faint multicoloured black visions came and went, sometimes nothing, sometimes something, a face, a shape, a form, a screaming witch, a pattern and then images of familiar strangers, these visions all hid and danced in the darkness behind my eyelids.

I was beginning to glimpse the opening of the cave but the lights were low to make my way inside.

An hour had passed and the experienced had reached a plateau so I decided to try to ignite the torch, to allow me to find my way into the cave. I reached out for a piece of bread and butter I had prepared for this situation. I ate the bread and went back to lying down, all the while a barrage of the words from "Milos", "Baptism" and "Shake the dust" washed over me.

The bread did the trick but I didn’t notice until sometime after it had happened.

All of a sudden I snapped out of some kind of weird trance like state, I had no idea how long I had been there but it seemed like a long time, lost in the language of the spoken word, asleep but awake, awake but asleep, neither here nor there but in all places at once.

Several poems had passed in this time, and I opened my closed eyes to a dimly lit room, parts of my vision were blurred and the walls were covered in glittering sparkledelic patterns of concentric radiant geometries.

WOW, what was I worried about. I was filled with a beautiful warm feeling of contentment, a feeling that I was doing the right thing. I once again closed my eyes, I was met by visions similar to those that I had seen before but they were a little more frequent and they had a little more presence, I settled in to watch this display but after a while I felt that this was as far as I was to be taken by this dosage, the intensity wasn’t to strong but the place I was in felt beautiful and I basked in the splendiferous glow it provided.

The time came to spark the fire, to light the torch and illuminate the cave, to rub the lamp and take 1 from the offered 3 as 1 would be all that I needed.

Reality dissolved in an unrecognised manner, there was, then there wasn’t, then there was the new, the real, the place which cannot exist but does, the place that is not real but is more convincing than any place I have ever been, the place where it all makes sense, the place where you can be shown the unknowable and understand it, see the unseeable and bask in its magnificence, the place where you know something you have never known a million times before.

He was back, or maybe more accurately, I was back. In this place into which I had dissolved was the Stringpuller, the being who gave me my NYE “pep” talk. Well, (I’m assuming it was him, how many beings can there be that control, maintain and create all of existence?)
This time he was busy at work and made no contact, he was absorbed in the playing of his instrument of existence control, but it is not music that is created but reality, reality is controlled or maybe designed by this machinestrument and it was being played too literal perfection.

This is the 3rd time I have experienced the concept that all of (my?) reality is really some kind of game or some kind of elaborate, independently controlled construct of another being. Maybe I’m the Stringpuller, maybe I was watching myself creating my own reality, maybe this time I had no need to talk to myself so I continued to keep reality ticking over, or maybe I was watching my true self play this machinestrument with such involvement that I (Stringpuller) had no knowledge that he/I was playing it, I (Stringpuller) made no contact with myself as I didn’t know I was there, my self created self had gate crashed my true reality in some kind of bizarre loop and I was watching myself create myself. (Man, I love this stuff)

I was in the back of Stringpullers space and could sense another being, this being was like me, they were not a native inhabitant off hyperspace, and they weren’t any kind of shamanic being with powers in these places, this being had as little control over what was happening as I did, they were on a journey very much like my own. We were both having some kind of high frequency vibrational energy passed through us, it was like being plugged into the mains socket of the cosmic power grid.

"Top to toe charging of your entire being, now available only at your local hyperstation, great prices and a great service, so come on down and bring the kids"

As Stringpuller did his thing, controlling the machinestrument with skills proving that practise must indeed make perfect, me and my journeying counterpart were charging up in the back, it was here I stayed for some time, watching, buzzing, charging and generally having a very lovely time. The vibrations continued long after the Stringpuller had faded away and the space I had been in disappeared. I was no longer floating vertically, I could tell I was lying down and the sensations of bodily functions started to come back into my awareness, breathing, swallowing and eye movement all began to take attention away from the vibration. I was desperately trying to hold on to my cosmic charge, but with every swallow, twitch or yawn the feeling of the vibrational charge would slowly lessen, my batteries were nearly full and I knew it was only a matter of time before I was precipitated from this glorious state of being.

Eventually I lay still in bed, bereft of vibration, I was fully charged.

I rolled around in bed, blissfully happy and feeling once again blown away. It was a very different feeling to the one which I was left with last time I had met the Stringpuller and obviously this was because of the pharmahuasca. Last time I was ushered out of his space and back into the more clinical self psychoanalytical state of mind that consumes me on LSD, this time I was greeted by a loving feeling. There was not hours of "oh my god, what was that, what was that, what was that", this time there was simply happiness, on my return to the pharmahuastically tinted reality I was given a big reality hug, I had "how did you like that, wasn’t it lovely", silently whispered in my ear, I had been looked after from the inside to the out.

I looked over to my bedside table where the Genie was perched, I didn’t feel the need to ask for my last 2 wishes, he had done more than enough for me this evening. He sat quietly beside me on my bedside table, waiting for the next time he would be needed.

The hours passed by in a blur Eckhart Tolle videos, iPods selections and ponderings of the meaning of it all.

Eventually I fell asleep.

I awoke on Friday morning just as my rentmonkey was leaving the house, for the rest of the day I pottered, wrote and refueled with several servings of cracking vegetable stew I had made at the beginning of the week and washed it all down with numerous cups of green tea.

Around 5pm I had to venture to the shop to restock on bread and smoothies. As I wondered around the supermarket in my own little world I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if they all new, if they had all seen it and been there, what if they all had the chance to see the world with psychonaughtical eyes. I felt like running around shouting at the top of my lungs, I felt like giving each and every one of them the gift which has been given to me. But this is not how things work, especially things of this nature. I walked around in silence listening to the weird hip hop stylings of Buck 65's Vertex. I filled my basket and used the self service till, I didnt trusting myself to resist grabbing the checkout worker shaking them and babbling on about the infinite and eternal feelings of bliss and glory that they were missing out on.

My first successful pharma experience was not a disappointment, I am under no illusion that it will get much, much more intense but it is nice to find my first desired dosage level. When the summer rolls around it will be this dosage that I will take to the outdoors, this would be a radiant dosage on which to dissolve into a summer’s day.

That was a most excellent read my friend. I'm hoping my next Pharma is more successful, this makes me look forward to it all the moar

Cheers Purges, I'm juggling with the idea of another journey tomorrow night as I have some ext. Caapi hamala's to use instead of rue which I think will be even more lovely esp. as I will also up the jimjam dosage

Only thing is I have to wait til midnight for my lodger to go to bed so I can have a quiet house, it gives me to much time to bottle it.

However, fortune rewards the brave.

THAT is the stuff I love. Where this sends minds like yours a-wandeing, a-mineing and a-sharing. I know, as I am sure many here do, EXACTLY what you are talking about.

Because I am the Stringpuller too...

JBArk