Voyage number: 003
Voyage Date: Tuesday, February 7, 2012PRE-CONDITIONS(mind)Set: Good, slightly nervous since this was my first time doing it alone
(physical condition) Set: Fantastic
Setting (location): Dimly lit cabin in the woods
time of day: Roughly 9:00pm
recent drug use: None since last DMT voyage 6 days earlier
last meal: Roughly 6pm, roasted potatoes and some fruit
PARTICIPANTGender: M
body weight: 113kg
known sensitivities: None
history of use: Third voyage
BIOASSAYSubstance(s): DMT crystal
Dose(s): Unknown, clearing whatever was left in the screen in GVG
Method of administration: GVG
EFFECTSAdministration time: T=0:00
Duration: T=0:15:00
First effects: T=0:00:30
Peak: T=0:01:15
Come down: T=0:10:00-0:15:00
Baseline: T=0:15:00
Intensity (overall): 4, reality replaced
Evaluation / notes:
OPTIONALPleasantness: 0, can't really say it was pleasant. It was definitely interesting.
Implesantness: 3, I would have given it a 4 if I had actually died.
Visual Intensity: 3.5, not the most color I've encountered but very very visual
AFTER-EFFECTSHangover: 1, which I'll chalk up to being scared and confused
Afterglow: 0
REPORTSo, yeah... this was pretty interesting. I had been planning on taking a few days to be alone in the mountains for a couple months and my getaway was finally here. I drove about 3 hours away from the city and checked into a small but nicely appointed log cabin on a small mountain. The place itself was great, and was the perfect setting for my first ever Aya journey which would be taking place two nights later when my best friend came up to be my sitter. It looked like this:
I got there and got checked in at about 4pm, got unpacked, made some dinner while listening to some Terence McKenna and then meditated for a few hours. Getting pretty deep was reasonably easy - without the prospect for distraction, I was able to relax and let go pretty well. I calmed my senses and breathing/heart rate and felt great... so this was obviously time to smoke some DMT, right?
I was definitely a little nervous just because this was my first time with DMT by myself. My previous two journeys (see history below) had both been very intense and had both taken place with friends around me for support if I needed it. This was different - if anything bad happened then I was screwed. Not that I thought anything bad would happen, but it was kind of like riding a bike with the training wheels off for the first time. Confident, but cautious.
Instead of loading more crystals into the GVG, I decided to do some cleanup. This pipe had been used about 10 times so far, and I had watched several of my friends take half-hits and basically just melt the crystals into the stainless mesh beneath it. I was convinced that there was a ton of DMT locked inside the mesh, which turned out to be correct. Since I did this, there's really no way of knowing what quantity of DMT made it into my lungs but it was a BIG hit for me. Biggest of the three so far by a mile. I took in a full chamber in one swoop and felt the urge to cough... which I stifled but not without feeling a little queasy. Holding in the hit, I felt my stomach turn a little bit as I began to feel my pulse intensify inside my skull. Thump, thump, THUMP... I exhale...
Familiar territory again to start, fractal 2D patterns for about 20 seconds and then cartoon Alchemy land... but this time something is different. The best way I can describe it is that someone other than me is present with me while I'm looking at this 2D surface, and he starts talking to me. He says "you want to see how it works? I'll show you." and then it gets REALLY weird. All of a sudden I see this glowing red orb...
and it's vibrating and making this loud WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA oscillating sound which is causing visual echoes to come off of it, like the circular waves on the surface of a pond when you throw a rock in it. It's loud and I feel a pulling force coming from it, like it's attracting me to it with gravity, or like I'm made of metal and it's a strong magnet. The force is also fluctuating/vibrating with the sound, but only slightly. The voice says "It does this." which I take as meaning the orb makes the vibration/force. Then the voice says "And then it does this."
the orb turns around and the other side is blue, which is also vibrating/pulsing and also has a force, but the "note" of the sound it's making/vibrating is higher (a perfect 5th) than the red orb sound. It sits there for a moment going WAWAWAWAWAWAWA and the voice says "See? It does this and then this." and it turns around to the red side again. "This, then this." Every time the voice says "this", the orb shows its other side to me and the vibration/force changes. Then the voice says "See what it's doing? When you look at it this way it does this <change> and if you look at it the other way it does this <change>. That's how it works, that's what it does."
I get an eerie feeling like I've seen this before and that I know the person who's talking to me but I can't place it. The eerie feeling turns to nausea and I feel like I'm going to puke. I immediately open my eyes and attempt to stand... I'm still VERY messed up. I manage to get on my feet and head for the bathroom a few steps away. As I stumble in the darkness and into the pitch black bathroom, the cabin becomes a dark forest...
It's dark and green and I get a distinct sense of deja vu... I have done this before... about to vomit, stumbling in the woods... I sink to the floor and crawl to the toilet in the pitch dark, and hug the rim of the bowl. Then, it transforms. The toilet that I'm holding onto sinks into the ground and becomes the forest floor, twigs, leaves, and everything - and I'm now on all fours lowering my face towards a dark, wet hole in the ground:
I have done this before. Not in this life, but at some point, I staggered through the dark forest, gagging and holding back my last bit of life, only to lower my face into a dark pit and vomit with my last gasping breath. I decide I'm not ready to die and look away, up toward the faint light penetrating the dark forest... it slowly dissolves to reveal the bathroom doorway and the dresser beyond... It's over. I live to fight another day.
I haul my swimming head back to the couch and sit down, awestruck and amazed. The sheer familiarity of that experience in the forest and of the vibrating orbs haunts me as I shake off the body load for a few minutes. What was that? Some primordial vision encoded in my subconscious? A past life peeking through the veil? Two past lives? I have no idea, but I know one thing for sure after DMT round three... This ain't my first go 'round at being alive and the physical universe sure as hell ain't everything it appears to be...
Voyage HistoryJan 25, 2012Feb 01, 2012
"God is not outside us but is just us, the living and the dead, the never-lived and never-died. That we should learn it only now, is supreme reality, it was written a long time ago in the archives of universal mind, it is already done, there's no more to do." ~ Jack Kerouac