My grandmother was 96 years old and though she´s been good in good health for all of her life, the past few months weighed very heavy on her after a fall where she broke a few bones. When she was no longer able to walk around freely, she quickly began to deteriorate.

About a month ago, she fell again and lost counsciousness. When the she was found, she was so weak that the doctors couldn´t even feel her pulse anymore.

When the news reached me, i called my sister and quickly went to her house. I didn´t know what to expect and all i could wish for was not to find her in pain. We both knew that this was to be our last visit.

What happened next is still somewhat uncomfortable for me to go back to. When my sister and i entered her room, she looked at us. And we both saw it in her eyes: when she looked at us, she realised what we had come for, that we hadn´t come to chear her up but to say goodbeye, that this was the last time she would ever see us again.
It was clear that this was difficult for all of us to accept.

For a day she lay there, fighting it. But when night fell, she fell into a peacefull sleep that went deeper and deeper and deeper. She was no longer fighting, she had finally let go.
Her breathing was getting slower and slower and shallower and shallower, untill she breathed so softly and slowly that we couldn´t hear or see it anymore.
Life simply flowed out of her body, smoothly and gently.

After sitting next to her body for half an hour, i turned on the lights.
There she lay...a century of history.
For all of her life she had been a strong, positive, kind and loving human being. But now for the first time i saw the marks of that century all over her worn out body: the wars, the civil wars, the concentrationcamps, migrating to a new country on the other side of the planet, starting all over from scratch, becoming a granmother and eventually a great-grandmother.

The next day, her body had already started to decompose, looking no longer like the person i had known and it released a terrible smell of rotten eggs. My nephew and i decided that we would spare the rest of the family from this scene and toghether we put her in her coffin.

It was a terrible thing to do but i´m glad i did it, because just before we where about to close her coffin, i noticed my grandfathers hat in the corner of my eye.
He had died 20 years earlier and she had kept his hat with her for the rest of her life. It was as if he had somehow still been with her for all those years.

I quickly decided to put this hat with her in her coffin before closing it. I don´t know why, but it felt like a realy important thing to do.

Somehow, it made everything complete.

You deserve a pat on the back for you courage and maturity <3

polytrip,

I am very deeply sorry for your loss. This is no little thing. 96 years of life. This is tremendous. And the history witnessed by this amazing woman that you only hinted at leaves me absolutely stunned and breathless and with a tear in the corner of my eye.

Thank you very very much for sharing this. Thank you for doing what you did. I kid you not, even with a flood of love, many a weaker soul would have turned away from such an important duty - being with dying.

I love you man. I love this life. I love your grandmother. We are but sentient motes, I know, but some stand out much brighter than others.

Again, thank you for this sharing.

I will be thinking of you and your family in the upcoming days and weeks.

Peace & Love

I'm sorry for your loss. Feel good that you were there for your grandmother when it counted the most. I'm sure it made the transition easier for her. We should all be so lucky in the end.