One theme I have noticed since I have began my work with (oral) DMT has been regression.

It took me back to the beginning. I've consciously processed my environment in-utero, and spent many nights in wailing, helpless infantile terror. I relearned the feeling of life's first struggle for breath, felt the thoughts of those around me as I slept in a crib, saw the way my environment impacted neurological development... daresay I even got *used* to it.

I regressed again the other day, but it was different... it seems like I was fixed at a slightly LATER developmental point, maybe, say, 4-6 years old? After getting violently sick, I just laid bug-eyed and dreamy on my boyfriend's chest, feeling (and precisely KNOWING) exactly what all kids feel when they want to lie with their parents, protection, comfort, peace...

But the difference in regression of psychological age is what most interests me. Has anyone else had extensive experience of regression? I wonder, if there is eventually a point where OLD garbage will be sorted out and I can experience a psychedelic maturity, a point at which everything is finally integrated?

I have no complaints about regression, as it is profoundly fascinating, and makes a lot of sense in light of the childhood that I (never really ) had. But it does also make me wonder... is this symptomatic of real progress? A measure after all this time and all these regressions, a manifestation of things actually psychologically, slowly but surely REALLY sorting themselves out? If my meaning is clear...

I know only I can answer my own questions and interpret these things, ultimately, but I found this significant because there seems to be a clear structure unfolding within repeated experience, and I wonder if anything similar has been experientially congruent in anyone else, further evidence of some kind of pattern or structure?

I have had some regression-like experiences. They feel very child-like and everything, and they feel more sacred to me the further back I seem to go. On an ayahuasca experience a couple months ago, I found this entity throwing these very soft pastel colored balls of light down a hill to me. I've also had two very blessed experiences feeling the most motherly, loving, peaceful feeling in the world bestowed upon me by this mother goddess and they rank as some of my most important experiences. I would consider them to be progress maybe as opposed to regression in the sense that society may have taken us on a gigantic detour and these experiences are sort of like putting you back on track for those special moments until you fall back onto the detour, though this time with a poignant reminder of just how loving and reassuring the world can be.

Hi, Ms Minxx

I can't yet speak of any pattern since i just recently had my first regression experience, but thought i would share since it was a very helpful moment in my life.

Basically, i've been wondering for years why i had sometimes been so mean and violent with my younger sister (2 years younger). Of course, fighting with your brother and sister is quite common, but i was always stronger and later when we stopped fighting forever after we were separated for a year when i turned 12, i felt i had abused of my superior strength and had taken advantage of it instead of always being a protector.

In short, why this fighting and sometimes this hate coming from me the older brother? I couldn't understand it and felt "evil"...

Well the other night, i "regressed' to the age when she was born, and clearly understood that amidst the happiness i had felt, a strong jealousy had also unfortunately taken root, because i wasn't the only one anymore, i suddenly had to be in the background sometimes... Doesn't take a genius, some might say, but it felt so good to actually understand these things, relive those emotions and feel how my mind worked at that time!

A liberation, for which i am very thankful

SO Ms Minxx, i have no doubt many things are being definetly sorted out in your life, thanks to these "regressions", and that some hurtful knots tying you to the past are being transformed into shining threads of understanding and love... at least, that is what i wish for you