EXERCISE! It is by far the best legal "drug". I have dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, and the transition I have seen occur in my life due to daily exercise is unbelievable. The worst part about exercise is the first 10 days or so.... after that you will CRAVE it.

To combat the issue of initial discouragement, promise yourself you will commit to 4 weeks of daily exercise (intense electronic music, pre-workout supplements, and anything shitty that happened during your day at work are all great fuel for a productive workout). I guarantee it won't take you 4 weeks to get addicted to it if you really put your mind to it.

I believe you will find that after 4 weeks of exercise:
- Your depression and anxiety will decrease significantly
- You will receive a confidence boost, because at the end of 4 weeks, you will already see some results
- Your diet will likely improve as you find you actually enjoy being healthy! (less alcohol, less fast food, etc.)
- Your attitude will tend to focus more on goals rather than obstacles

I have also added a weekly 2-3 hour changa session to my regimen. Harmalas really tend to bring underlying issues to the surface for me, which forces me to focus on what I need to work on to become a better person. Mamma Aya doesn't pull any punches, she'll tell you what you need to change!!

I know this doesn't answer your question, but I feel the best way to progress towards the life you want is to look every issue you're are struggling with in the face and deal with it. You might find a drug that accomplishes what you are looking for, but in the end, wouldn't you rather take the path that leads you to a career where you don't need the drugs?

I hope I don't come off as preachy or judgmental. I sincerely care about your well-being, although I don't know you from Adam. We're all connected in the end, right? I wish you the best with your journeys on this planet and in hyperspace!

if you were on ssri's you might want to also look into eating as healthy as possible, cutting out all junk food and getting all the proper brain nutrients as alot of those ssri's just fuck the brain up if you take them for too long. Alot of people have talked about feeling worse after using them for a period of time. I think they mess the the seratonin system even more in the end.

I agree with everyone else about ditching the idea of taking drugs, and instead doing some proper exercise routine and healthy eating. Other than that i'd like to add that getting out more, meeting positive people, and members of the opposite sex will help.

-A dull working life needs some "goodies" that you can smile back upon as you go about the dull routine just to earn this stuff called money. Hell, you've gotta have something fun in life to look forward to , especially in a dull job. I've been there MANY times!!

-EDIT: On a similar vein to SWIMFRIEND's comments, perhaps a vacation to " get away from it all " is just what is required, to help make the first step to a new more positive routine??/ I find travelling great for " kicking one up the ass, and giving one some real life perspective on things ".But also at some point we need to get back to that JOB, and find a workable way of making life a bit more rewarding, dull job and all.

Do you think you could describe this experience more? Like what you ate, where you slept, how long for? I have been considering it for some time... though the cold and wet here may not be so great - animals live through it and I reckon it could be very toughening.

For Seraph - I work part time in McDonalds, leaving in a week though. I've found it completely horrible (especially as a social science student with a psychedelic consciousness). The best drug I've done in work is cannabis, it made it completely tolerable... though I wouldn't do it all the time, associating weed with work is never good. Mephedrone was amazing... for about 2 hours and then time slowed beyond belief.

After I improved my diet with various superfoods, work definitely improved (though now it's coming towards an end each shift is terrrible)

What does your work involve anyhow?

Oh yeah, passionflower tea... very cheap and can brighten a day occasionally

A really good drug can be "money saved in the bank". It's a great "drug" to spend having great fun in cheaper, more relaxed travel destinations- where, should you decide to "weaken" and try the local "goods", you should find they are pure and "as cheap as chips/or fries" ( depending where 'ur from! ) !!