below is a detailed account of my first 3 Ayahusaca journies in the Amazon jungle, i had traveled from the heart of North Wales/uk across the planet alone to peru to the amazon rainforest.. without been able to explain to family or friends the burning question inside

"Is that a door?"

only to be fucking amazed by what i found interested?????

read on fellow travelers.... this is a long post but if your real to NEXUS you wont be able to stop reading it till the very end... enjoy

first ceremony

i was in a massive ceremonial chamber with 14 people 2 shamans and a few sitters.

i went up to the shaman to take a drink, it tasted vile but i knew i wanted it.
i sat down in a chair and closed my eyes waiting for the veil to be lifted.
powerful couloirs began to flood my vision. i knew i had to let go completely, have good intensions and show love. it was very dark and the sounds of millions of jungle insects out side was amazing. all my senses where heightened, the shaman began to sing an incaro to guide us deeper into the spirit world. my body was rushing uncontrollably.
i knew that to submerge into a higher state of consciousness it is important to let go of the ego. my ego's attempt to keep me pinned in the material plane was to use my desires against me, different temptress's kept on appearing to try hold my ego in a state of lust. i knew it was an illusion and swept it to one side. different peoples ego's can try to use different things to stop them progressing, money, earthly materialistic objects, relationship etc.

once i had released my ego i went through an intense wall of light. i was confronted by an Entity/spirit being that the shaman had summoned, the entity pushed part of itself into my upper torso, i felt it healing me inside, it felt uncomfortable and strange yet i did not fear it, i knew deep down it was helping me possibly healing the chakra system.

the next thing i could sense was an ohm sound resonating into the back of my mind it was constant and was something to do with my connection to that plane. i could sense other entities present, the next thing i knew i sensed my sister there, she had died 8 years previously in a car crash. i was overwhelmed with love and happiness i felt like we hugged spiritually. it was truly incredible.
i began to think about the ohm energy beaming into the back of my mind and an entity seemed frustrated by me, and projected the feeling to me not to get stuck in a loop of wonder, keep the journey moving.

i felt healing work been done by beings to the back of my mind.

i felt like i was given a vision of what were all in. our higher selves were all in that world, while the part self is incarnated to experience this level of reality in these vessels of light. i felt a sadness by the separating of humanity from the higher self, and an enormous sense of a great wound cut off from the higher energy of creation.

i felt like this was my true introduction to these higher states, i realized that we are here to learn.

we are not human beings trying to have a spiritual experience. its the other way, we a spiritual beings having a human experience.

i felt a great vision given to me of a time in the future when humanity will be reunified with the rest of existence and it would be the most joyful occasion in creation.

at this point the ohm sound into the back of my head became very intense, i was relaxed by beings, i felt a lot of love in the place i found myself in.

i felt how ancient, intelligent and powerful the earth and plants are, i could sense a connectedness between all the planets in our solar system. how sacred life is.

i felt at one with existence, a peace deep within. i felt a connection between myself and the shaman orotongo blanco (white jaguar). i felt like i was becoming back aware of the workshop the people in the ceremony, the Ayahusca was beginning to let go.
people all around me were having a hard time many purging violently. i sent love around the room wishing others well. yet i was told through feeling to focus on myself.

i began to project thanks to the main shaman as he chanted the incaro. i felt like i was dancing on a great stage with spirits. these words came to my head " i danced in the morning when the world was begun, i danced in the moon the starts and the sun, they may bury my body and think i am gone but i am the dance and i still go on"

i symbolically seen my shell in two halves been placed over me and been told "see, see whats in you!"

i could feel the journey coming to an end yet i had not purged, i wanted as much of the ayahusca to stay in me to prolong the journey, i felt like i didn’t need to go sick, but it was symbolic so i picked up the bowl and done a small purge.

the shaman was chanting in his language but i knew what he was saying thank you mother ayauhsca and to the healing spirits, then i regained my normal state of mind.

this was my first ever ayahuasca journey. and was truly amazing.

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This is the thing with modern man, unless you can set up a scientific experiment it cant be real!

when we stop believing in our feelings we stop living"

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my second Ayahuasca journey

within minutes of drinking the sacred brew i had pins and needles rushing all over my body. i broke through and i felt like i was stood in front of grandmother Ayahuasca her self. the spirit of the plant, which i felt was controlling and governing my experience. she manifested as a large ancient pyramid with gorgeous multi colored patterns all over.. i was in fuckin awe!!!! wow.... i felt like she has a thousand faces and can appear in different forms.. i felt like she give me thanks, the reason been because a wrote a letter of intension and symbolically placed it under my chair before the ceremony. it was asking for her guidance and she knew i done this..!
intension is so important. i feel if you are going to journey without intension don’t bother!
i tried to communicate with her but the linguistics were too complex.. two spirit beings appeared when i done this.

they took me away. then i kept on meeting loads of spirits. they were coming up to me checking me out. having a look at me. some were coming so close i could see them made out of this beautiful metaphysical energy.... i was amazed by the situation... again! i could sense that ohm energy beam into the back of my head.. it was like a being/spirit turned the sound down. they where trying to get me to focus on the work they were about to perform on my body.

right this is so fucking hard to explain. but here goes. the Beings/spirits where showing me a vision. it was of my finger, then deeper into the tip, then deeper to an individual cell, then deeper to my DNA, then deeper the DNA unraveled and split in two. each strand became a snake and began to dance on my finger tip. i was told that this represented the Ayahuasca as a medicine. then the snakes re-raveled into my DNA jump back into the cell then back into my body, and that all the billions of cells/snakes/DNA, within me are alive and active with the plant spirit healing me at the very core of my existence. i felt they are re-patterning me at a level of my DNA, resetting me.. that this was apart of humanities great change!!

i began to feel restless, i felt restricted to one place by the beings jouring this ceremony. the first ceremony i was like a kid in a candy shop meeting my sister, ancestors, demy gods, healing beings, plant spirits, planets. I felt i could move about more. but i guess that was an introduction. this time "they" really wanted more of my attention.

even though i was restricted i respected that they knew what was best for me. then i was given a gift of how to conquer my mental attributes my personality may have developed through my planetary conditioning... it was told never feel guilty to have forgiveness and show yourself unconditional love! that way things become accepted and embraced! if you show yourself negativity and anger you feed it what it needs to exist in the first place.... wow


the next thing i felt was a doctor entity next to my side working doing spiritual surgery on my chest area... i respected its presence....

the next thing i felt was a group of entities near by, they were saying people on earth may let you down, but hear no one will let you down, and the group was agreeing... one was symbolically saying i could cross over to them if i choose, but i knew i would have to leave my body behind to truly join them.....

my mind at this point began to become aware of the ceremonial setting again. i projected love round the room to my fellow travelers. i truly felt at peace and in love with existence!!!!

i felt like my entire body was glowing bright white light! and my body was splitting down the middle! and that bright white light was coming from within. and that bright white light was filling the entire room and the light was unconditional LOVE!

i felt truly blessed with all the love i received and the understanding of a world that truly cares about you no matter what....

i felt a vision of a grid in the back of my mind and the input signal been projected in, the grid had many symbols and when different symbols were changed it effected my decision making... it was effected to help me follow a path which best suits my fate....

i felt about my connection to the Ayahuasca and the feeling that even when i return to the usual state of mind all the work i witnessed is still going on...!

i felt i could project love to my grandfather while there...

i could see multi headed snakes... they where doing a closing dance in front of me!!! the Ayahuasca was coming to an end....

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wow i was blown away..... it doesn’t end there below is the final Ayahuasca journey of the shamanic work shop

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i drank the brew shortly after i purged before having any real effects... i sat back and was concerned that i didn’t have enough Ayahuasca to have a good journey. i thought i might need to get up and ask the shaman for more... but bang it hit me!!! welcome to hyperspace!!

the first thing i felt was the presence of beings doing work on my chest area also work on my mind....


i could see a queue of beings to my left moving along looking at me... they where significant to me,, but i don’t know how.....

one of the beings working on me doing spiritual surgery on me seemed to pull an energy curtain between them and me to stop them looking at me and me at them...

when i began to settle my mind i could feel myself raising like i was about to raise to another level i had not been too....!!!

but i couldn’t maintain the level of consciousness required to go to the next level... there wasn’t enough silence and concentration of the right nature to progress higher.....

i really wanted to go to this next level to present myself to it. but access was denied because i was not ready.. ....

i felt like i had found the GREAT DOOR and i could navigate to its entrance any time....

i felt like i was given a plan on how to make a key for that door, they key was my mind...

it is to gain more self control to be worthy, i simply wasn’t ready.. it was the deal of cards i had in my hand at the time.....


i seen two entities they had green aluminous crystals they were placing them into my chest... they were doing more healing work....

again i seen more entities to my side and energy curtain was drawn to stop me looking at them..

then i seen an entity come up really close to my face, it had the face of a girl i know... i was amazed at the level of physic awareness the entity had to take a visual memory from my mind and shape shift there on face to take on a familiar form... it must be a comfort thing they can do.....

i was loving every second of my journey the state of been in that metaphysical realm.... it felt so familiar to me, so natural.. i was right at home... the metaphysical worlds i found were full of unconditional love!!!!

it was so peaceful... i even wondered how i got lost in the first place.... !


then i noticed an entity come to my right at first i thought it was communicating with another, but i became aware of the ceremonial camber.. i could see the entity doing work on another traveler next to me.. she was a woman called zita. i could see this beings healing her... i had become aware of the two worlds overlapped!! i could see spirits flying around the room healing people! a spirit then came to my left i watch in awe as it healed a man called andrew.... this was just breath taking to see!! i put my hand out and touched its side and said thanks for helping him....

i felt so much love.. and i now know love creates love, and love is destine to last forever...

it is the highest realm.... !!!

i was fucking rocking back and forth in the rocking chair it total fucking ecstasy!!!

every time i heard the shamans chant i had my hands in the air towards the end rocking in total fucking euphoria!!!!

MDMA x 1 million is a fucking understatement compared to how good i was feeling....!!!

i was glowing brilliant white light filling the entire room with it.. with every breath out i was sending a mist of unconditional love to everyone in the room individually!! i felt like i turned into a Dragon and i was flying round the planet gia, covering the earth with
"Flames of LOVE"

i felt every time the shaman chanted i would metamorphosize into this dragon towering above myself filling the room with flames of love engulfing everyone with my compassion and respect….

I seen a vision of me speaking out to people…

The dragon makes me strong and powerful, because it is undefeatable and has the most powerful weapon of all, that of love!!

I felt entities pouring water down my body.. it felt weird because it was not my physical body it was my spiritual one…

Then the journey came to and end, for now

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This was the most amazing time in my life so far I hope you have enjoyed reading my experience…..

did you find what you were looking for out there? sounds like you had some lifechanging times.
i have a similar story of traveling alone to the amazon, chasing ayahuasca dreams. to simply expirience that part of the world is very much a lifechanging trip by itself. talk about leaving ordinary reality behing and entering into somthing completely different!! the amazon is quite a place.

im curious about how the journey home was for you? have you been able to communicate with your loved ones about where you'v been?
thanks for sharing welsh head.

hi open'nheart,

i would say i definatly found what i was looking for and more...

i felt reborn, and the journey created so many more questions...

your right it truly is a beautiful place to experiance, one day i would love to do the machu picchu pilgrimage with a shaman above the rain forest

the journey home was ok it took a while to reintergate back into the ratrace life style i live... i have managed to tell some close friends about my journey, but its hard to tell people who are not into shamanism what happened.

glad you like it was happy to share with you and people at nexus