Just came down from a pretty intense trip and the night time seems to always be the worst. That and, for what ever reason, my trips aren't as enjoyable when my girlfriend is home; even when she is sleeping or away in another room, when she is here the experience is always similar. But the darkness is what gets me the most. During the day I've had trips to some foreign land and drank coffee on a balcony with some anonymous person discussing many things. I've also seen "The Queen" and had her explain to me that everything is love, and anger is the biproduct of people trying to fix love's perfection... But the night time comes and I enter what I've dubbed the "Fun House" it's bizarre and makes no sense, but is often filled with a sense of disgust or hostility.

This hostility is not necessarily directed at me, but it is a hostile environment none the less. When I'm in the "Fun House" I laugh because it's wacky, but I'm somewhat scared for some reason. Add to that when my eyes are open, shadows and silhouettes seem to always be after me (This is not new however, when I was a child (5-6) I got very sick and had a fever of about 105. When the lights were off I would have vivid hallucinations of groups of people chasing me and trying to kill me). Tonight I could feel them getting closer when my eyes were closed, almost like a ghost from Mario... However tonight came with a pretty horrifying (if true) revelation. I won't say exactly what it is, but I'll leave it at something terrible happening to me as a child that my brain decided to forget.

I don't know if this is true or not, but I can't get the phrase to stop echoing around my head. If it is true, I don't feel anything about it. It's just seems to be an event that could have happened and if it did, so be it. I have no resentment or anger. Mostly just confusion...

Has anybody else had a (most likely) completely bogus revelation like this? Any advice other than trip in the daylight?

I like your description very much.
I too have the childhood memories of strange feverish delusions.
Some involving knowing there was something that I could not do
and because of this
I was to die-
nothing I could do. that was it.
then death occurs.
ego goes through the archetypal stages.
and the 6 year old wakes up.


After 23 years I recently [yesterday] pieced together a scar on my face with something that happened when I was very young that is directly linked to certain behavioral patterns of mine that I am sometimes really disturbed by. I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize this and piece the two together!
Upon realization, I noticed an immediate resolution, and nullification of these patterns that I hope I have metaprogrammed the fuq out of my existence ;]

Strange syncronizations are amongeth



as for advice I guess I can only say smoalk moar until your heart's content

Never had this particular problem or occurrence happen to me.
However I try to live by the philosophy: face your fears. If it's a real problem, a real event in your past, one way to resolve it might be to actively seek it out, find it, pass through it, bring it into the light, so that it can no longer affect you from the shadows. Also maybe find out what the presence of your girlfriend has to do with this state of mind - just start digging for answers.

I wish you the best and much love
Enoon

Bru - Its just like it is here. Bringing a lot of baggage into a social setting sometimes causes company to shy away. Sometimes it is beneficial to look at the hostility as if it were a sort of self-relflection. To me, DMT and self-reflection are synonomous.

Working on ourselves brings liberation. DMT is an awesome and beautiful wakeup call to be the best person you can be. "If you want good relations there.., practice good relations here" so they say. Practice your relationship with yourself. No matter what that starting point may be. Do what the Queen says and youre all good.

Also IMO NLP might be able to provide for letting go. Chop Chop clinical/sprirtual stuff. That is just what I hear.