Ok so swim made a post about struggling after (as it found out later) swim smoked a full 50mg when swim at most did 20-25mg. he was tired of pussyfooting around. So...that was a big mistake.

I came to DMT on many different levels of personal research which include but are not limited to lucid dreaming, near death experiences, buddhism, and entheogen in religion. These all led me to DMT I read Strassman's book and found the Nexus community.

No stranger to psychedelics from my past and having had two such ego shattering interconnected enlightening experiences of my life which resonated for over a decade. I had others but these two were mazing both were from mushrooms. LSD never produced those kind of results but I am not sure of the quality i was getting even though i was blown away i have heard the strychnine stories etc etc so i shied away and stuck to mush and mescaline. holistic medicine

I have posted some of this before the preface isnt terribly necessary but I am still new. I think i came ot DMT searching for answers but alas she only asks questions. For the past ten days or so since i did my 50mg dosage I have been doing 10-30mg at night to get used to feeling the panic on huge dose was overwhelming mortal terror lol.

I have a vivid imagination and sort of a dreamer I do the DMT at night late before bed. After i just stay there and go to sleep exploring thoughts and dreams. The first time after big dose i was worried abotu breathing and focused entirely on that i became a "bladder" inhaling and upon exhaling pushed to different scenes. from alien cities, halls, space, etc every exhale propelled me somewhere different.

I have heard breakthrough stories and most of my experiences are devoid of emotion. Also when i try to "go into" something it seems to disappear. frustrating. I have experienced a white light at the top of my consciousness appearing like a curtain dropping 6 inches and something looking at me only to lift right up when i try to see. I have not had Cthulu offer me a bucket of KFC and exchange thoughts on Charles Bukowski unfortunately but i have had some profound thoughts on the way back down.

Anyway sorry for the ramble and thanks to the fellow nexians for this community we return to our previously scheduled programming

SWIM never had a breakthrough. But after lots of reading I will say that you should probably leave a few days in between even your small doses.

SWIM is in a similar boat as you, but hasnt tried a full 50mg dose yet, only 3 25-30mg doses. Everytime has been about the same: central object (crysanthemum) flying to, but no breakthrough just like you. Visual effects differing everytime and a sense of happiness/ euphoria for another hour.

I've been researching DMT and it's effects and stories for a few years until SWIM recently tried it. From what I hear, there can be negative, dark visions and emotions usually caused by apprehension. The best way to counter this is to recognize it, know this is a bit of a test and regain positive emotions (based on numerous DMT storied you've heard), and dark visions and emotions will be replaced by beauty. Very much like someone posted about the "troll" in your previous post.

I'm assuming it's emotionally similar to riding a roller coaster for the first time. Only one that you cant hear the screams and see which way it goes before you ride. I was terrified riding a roller coaster the 1st time, scared the 2nd (after years went by and being talked into it), and a total joy the 3rd, once I accepted what they were. Of course DMT is a much more enigmatic, bizarre and astonishing experience than a roller coaster. But with both, the apprehension can lead you to a downward spiral.

Try to working on eliminating the little demons in your life. Some you cant easily change, but cleaning the house, setting some goals, resolving problems at work you've been dwelling on and becoming totally relaxed prior to your full dose can work wonders I think.

I agree with your comment regarding frequency. The reason i went at it hard (i did take a day off here and there) was to increase familiarity to limit fear in the corporeal state. I am going to chill for a week and go back at it. I went at ti again last night eyeballing about 30mg. I noticed a vibration in the right hemisphere if my brain coupled with buzzing. It was not pleasant but it was not terrible like a sharp ringing subtle pain. I most assuredly need some time off for now. For me it seems I notice when i go from peak to buzz (coming down) I do hear a buzz and then corporeal reality tinged with dream state like thinking. For me its not proper to keep up the pace i have been but i wanted the body to get used to it to allow the mind more freedom.