Thanks for this - its really good to hear that you can take something good from this report for yourself and your journeys. The Nexus has been a fundamental part of my own journeys too, and I have always been very grateful to everyone here who shares their knowledge, experience and comments. We are all crossing into an unknown world, and there are few of us - it has always been very important to me to know that there are others who understand, who have been there and who are prepared to share what they have learned and to support one another.



This was a big reason that I didn't go back Inside for so long. The last time really blew me to pieces. I felt that my life began anew that day. Many things changed soon after, and very much for the better. I met the love of my life, the most perfect partner I could imagine ... and I really was not prepared to give up the reality that had manifest itself in my life. I did not want to change anything else.

So I ask myself, what the fk was I doing going back inside when now, I have so much to lose? I knew for a fact that spice had the power to change reality- and I was genuinely afraid that if I went back to hyperspace, everything might change again, and I didn't want that. So I didn't return for many months.

I'm really glad I didn't - because life is not a fairy tale, and I have a whole pile of new problems in my new reality such is the nature of things, eh ...

But eventually, I felt secure enough in my new reality to venture back. I felt I had to; because it seemed such a fundamental cause of the changes that occurred. But I did NOT feel ready to lose everything, and perhaps that is the root of the discord. There was a large part ofthis journey during which I only wanted for it to be over; to be able to return to my life. To forget. And my great fear during these last two trips was that I would always see hyperspace; that it was a permanent change in my perception. And I do not feel ready for that ...

much love

Awesome man...just really makes me reflect on...everything.

I have been at war with my consciousness for months now for the exact same reason, the spice is calling, pulling me to it but I dont want anything to change, Im happy, more than ever and I think the fear of a possible change in my life would affect my journey, but at the same time I feel like Im just using that as a excuse to justify my cowardice.

Thanks for taking the time to prepare that great writing of your experience. Having the ability to communicate with words is an art form that I often lack.

Your last line hit on something that I have thought a lot about lately after watching a movie on Ram Dass. Ram Dass had a stoke and said that he died, but came back. Being a very spiritual man and well versed with psychedelics he said that he was shocked that he did not have a spiritual psychedelic experience when he encountered death, rather, he said he felt nothing.

This makes me think and wonder....maybe, and I think quite possibly, when we die there is no great spiritual unfolding like we all expect. Maybe our best chance to experience such an experience is when we a very alive and healthy and using our spiritual tools such as spice and mushrooms. Maybe spiritual psychedelic experiences are something we will only experience now. I hypothesise that when we die our bodies and minds may be going through too much shock to enjoy such rich psychedelic experiences as we do when we are healthy and using something like DMT.

Better enjoy it now I think.

I wouldn't call it cowardice, not ever. This is our psyche we are messing with, the thing that defines us, that holds your very notion of self and the means by which we understand everything

oh that call.....

welcome back beautiful brother. this work does seem to be profoundly compounding...for me as well at least. my last DEEP one saw me not go back for a few weeks (something unheard of for the past couple years). and when i did go back, i noticed a definite increase in the intensity that the work now holds.

not bad or scary, just a sense that the work had been 'kicked up a notch'. like the first few days in a new grade at school, there is an adjustment period and an acceptance that you are growing up. an increasing ability to accept that process and venture courageously into this new classroom comes easier and easier....but it is impossible to deny that the intensity has increased.

gone for me are the love-bliss 'shows'. nowadays it is a fully involved collaboration that requires i do ample work on myself in THIS world before ever daring to venture into THAT one. this is a wholisitc medicine to be sure...

much love 88. your work is inspiring brother....and not just for me!

with the deepest love and gratitude!!

That is really great man!!!
Why wait?!?!?!

WS

Antrocles my work has also been ramped up as well and has a new level of intensity that i have not felt before. I'm on the brink of a massive breakthrough and i am preparing myself as best i can . Things are getting deeply intense on this end bro ............

much love

The rabbit hole seems to get deeper and twistier with every turn ... like you, I have to prepare before entry, and "be a good human" before even considering journeying within. it seems to ratchet up in intensity with every visit, and I sometimes long for the simple, awe-inspiring beauty of those first journeys.

But I guess its like love that way - when you first fall in love, everything is sunshine... after a while, when the relationship deepens, things get more complicated, sometimes more difficult, but ultimately, also much more rewarding and fulfilling ...

much love brother!

sound advice, mad_banshee - no one knows what's on the other side; maybe nothing at all. But the very fact that life ends is something that makes me value life tremendously. Every day is a gift

much love

its always nice when you can bring back and take the time to retain any little glimpse, and by placing them our waking reality, the good ones continue to persist and mirror new reflections, like a multifaceted diamond in the morning light, long after the experience has passed....