It was late, like 3 or 4 in the morning... swim had taken maybe a half hit of LSD about 5 or 6 hours ago and was feeling pleasantly hash stoned and a little bit like a loose wiggly string, very silly.
Someone brought up the idea of a Dreamster journey as friends were gettin ready to leave... at first i ignored em but then we started really entertaining this idea (Girly, Duder, Brother, guy, buddy and me) we started really
feeling like this could be a good time to go there... to that place...

I watched em all takin bongrips, Duder layered ganja Demetri ganja, it went around the circle then came to me... i took a fat rip and passed the tube back into the circle, (i was sitting on couch facing away from circle.)
As i was leaning from the center of the circle back into my seat on the couch, the spirit overtook me,
the tube in my hand became a warbling fluctuating particle tube like a blown up depiction
of an atom with all the orbiting dealies (protons electrons i think) of my hand and the air
and the ground intermingling freely kind of like fire poi without a center axis, just drawing
snakes in the air... i closed my eyes.

I could feel everyone in the room pushing building supporting this reality.
I could see my arm, suffused with blue light, growing out from the couch.
I could see the lines of energy (like flowing perforations in space) connecting
me with everyone in the room.
A white light burst through my third eye, the spirit was discovering that I am
going to be a father.
I felt the ringing tone, the blood and the crying and the life and death seriousness of my situation.
It felt like being born.
My glasses felt like they were floating off my head and I looked at them, they have one of the stem
thingums wrapped in wire with a quartz crystal at the end.
My hands went up and pulled them off my head the rest of the way
and i looked at the wirewrapping leading up to the crystal...
suddenly something spun shot leapt out of the quartz and into my mind,
a feminine venomous nemesis antithesis lover radical other of love and possession
and understanding and mapping out the whole beautiful necessity of this entire experience,
she was my girlfriend (who is pregnant) she was mothers everywhere girls everywhere,
she is the mainframe nurse screaming "OH MY GOD YOU'RE HAVING A BABY!!!"
she was laughing and purring and coaxing every positive negative repressed
unexplained murky dark lost desire and emotion and shedding so much light on
me that everything was enthusiastically beautifully INTO IT.
this one thing, nonduality.
this one love, plurality.
this screaming heart, she speaks straight through.

I had let go. for the first time in years, the spirit had showed me all this,
she had to, because i have to understand to bring a child into this world, I have to attain my personal power
and create reality, and to do that i have to feel the whole sticky sweet bloody perfect mess.
I laughed a full laugh (full of truth and sadness and acceptance and love,) and opened my eyes to see that reddish pink femme vibe
whirl back into the crystal.

I can never really tell you what happened in my mind.
An opening to a level of communication that makes linear speech impossibly esoteric.
vibrational understanding, at a cellular level.
did my languaging brain even translate the message correctly?
I think so. I think everything's gonna be alright.

I feel really great. I have never had such a mortally serious conversation with Demeter, or been able to hold
on to the clear light and understanding through it all, like passing a test.
Thank you for preparing this one for the pangs of birth.

She might be described as the red thing around testament thats kind of his ally (he's the guy with the sickle)
http://www.youtube.com/w...mtKo&feature=related