Okay so after years of reading up on this substance I finally managed to amuster some waxy yellow spice.

I loaded up 70mg in 'The Machine' and did the same again 30 minutes later after failing to get a good hit the first time around (steel wool too compacted in neck of bottle making drawing difficult methinks).

Both trips were similar with the second taking me near to breakthrough I think. Vastly experienced in magic mushrooms (semilanceata), what I experienced reminded me somewhat of the peak from them and as such scared me and grounded me a little.

I certainly feel I fought to pull myself out of this trip, through anxiety and fear. As I felt myself nearing the edge the thought came over me 'to remember to breath' and I panicked somewhat and tried to get outside for fresh air but could barely move.

Okay so I'll talk about the second dose, they were similar but the second showed more. As first user amongst my crowd I asked friends to notify me when 'The Machine' started smoking. I tooted a little and exhaled a little smoke so knew then to take a big chug and was informed The Machine was filling up nicely this time around. This again filled me with more fear as I knew what had happened previously was about to happen, but 'worse'.

Psychedelic geometric patterns formed around my lookers eyes and then a kaleidascoping windmill of geometric patterns formed beside him. I looked to the ceiling and things bulged in the all too familiar psilocybin ways.

I closed my eyes, close to the edge I felt, there was vivid imagery of cartoony shapes, characters but not of humanoid form before it settled to what seemed similar to a 3D bin (circular cube, can't remember the name) with a hole with a few ghoulish characters spinning inside it holding aloft something before them but I couldn't make out what).

I have never been one for 'closed-eyed-visuals' and the glare by one or two of them scared me to eventually open my eyes, one was male whose face aged rapidly if I concentrated on it. Although not overpoweringly manevolent it was sufficiently unsettling. I have seen a similar group of ghouls on mushrooms and again this unsettled me as I associated with these.

However, unlike mushrooms, one of the three was a definite feminine presence, calming, divine and caring if still very alien like. She beckoned me in and I felt at ease and at comfort concentrating on her.

Still the others lingered though so I opened my eyes. My friend was no longer his usual form but simply a glowing humanoid shape energy force.

About the time I felt I needed to get outside, these mini ghouls were shifting colourful psychedelic table like structures to and fro on the floor in front of me so that I could not concentrate on reality. Gravity seemed to flip upside down and sideways as the ghouls shifted 'the tables' so I felt very disorientated trying to move.

I felt myself trying to drag myself back to normality filled with fear.

To my left though the Divine female entity appeared ethereally, smiling and skipping a merry dance, her robes draped from her limbs in a Persian Princess type manner. She warmed me and straightened out gravity but seemed to be waving farewell for now. I looked towards the football (soccer) game my mates were watching, could just make out the players but they had no faces, simply cubic shapes, energy forces like my friend beside me. A few jittery patterns and it was all over.

Immediately I felt a little disappointed, it all only lasted a few minutes but then looking back it was nearly immense in that time.

There was a slightly sceptical other friend sat in front of me who had frowned upon the extraction process and I felt like I didn't want to look smacked out with my crude crack pipe and then laying there 'asleep'. Then the spooky ghoulishness of mushrooms experienced in the past filled me with apprehension as this was similar. The 'first steps into the unknown' also frightened me but now I have first hand experience I feel I would better cope, especially without sceptical company.

I've just read a mega dose gives you no choice other than to accept, is this the only way to overcome this fear?

Also, feel re-xing a few times to a proper crystal might eliminate some of the ghoulishness. Or am I wide of the mark here?

A 'windproof' lighter was used.

thanks for the write up

this makes me wonder about the distinct loving female entity that a lot of us encounter on our first journeys with the molecule. To me it was as if she was there to feel me out and make the whole experience much calmer and loving... I've never had the pleasure of encountering this entity since my very first blast.

I would if I were you get rid of those negetive people when working with DMT or any psychedelics, its not the kind of energy one wants around.

welcome to the nexus btw.

That was an interesting read. I've also encountered a couple things which appeared feminine and comforting. You'll probably find it easier to let go as you continue smoking, but I think only you can decide whether or not you need a mega dose to force you to learn how to let go or not. Personally, I've had lighter trips which guided me through my anxious thoughts and showed me that some of my worries are unnecessary. I certainly can't say I'm free from any kind of pre-trip anxiety though. Re-X if you think it will make you feel comfortable, but it's possible the ghoulishness was more 'in your head' (set and setting) than in your spice.

70mg should get the vast majority of people very far in. I think some of your issue with getting there is due to your smoking technique and contraption. I find a water bong is the most efficient transporter.

I don’t know if a re-x (although a good idea) will eliminate the ghoulishness. It may well have more to do with your mindset and surroundings.

Welcome to nexus and nice post! Safe travels ahead.

As i was told by another member, you dont need to go hitting it hard, take your time with it, smoke alittle put it down, get comfatable with it, then you will work into your groove with it. When your aquainted with it of course your boundaries will naturally drop. Lower dose's are some what better then larger doses in there own respect.

The spice will teach you if you let it (in someways imo)

If you do STB a wash with dh20 and naco3 before you evap or freeze, that will elimninate harshness etc. But the ghoulishness my friend is in yourself. But love it and accept it, its definatly not going to do no harm, it probally has its own good qualities?

R*R
L

My experience with dosing is this. I don't have a scale to measure my dosage, so I just put inside whatever "feels" enough. At first I couldn't smoke that much cause of the overwhelming feelings that took over me (i would stop hitting).. But as time goes by and you learn this substance more you get more comfortable with hitting and you can take more hits and sweeter ones



A high dosage gives you no choice, this is true, but I don't think this should be your "goal". And that doesn't mean you shouldn't trip harder. From what I have experienced you should just smoke as much as you feel at that moment you want to (although for me this generally means high dosage)!
Don't think about dosage, just inhale

And about fear.
When I feel frightened or anxious I don't smoke.. When I first extracted DMT my friends went crazy and smoked every day or so.. I never do that! I only do it when it feels right! No planing, no thinking, no anxiety.. There are just some moments when I just want to dive into it and swim in the universe.. Maybe it's once every two months or three times in a day or whatever! I don't think you should use dosage to overcome fear, I think you should smoke it when fear goes for cigarettes

Cheers!

thats a lot of nuts.... lol..... i like your philosophy ... kinda fits my own.. ha

If I used spice to replace cigarettes, I would most certainly go insane But I agree with this totally, get a feel for it, work your way into it, then follow the calling and accept what it gives you.

Thanks for the report.