So recently I've been noticing during my integrating period that images/feelings/experiences of hyperspace happen in my waking life all the time. Except for in my waking life I have time to slow them down, analyze them and appreciate them as my gift of consciousness. I am truly awake! But one of the images that leaked from my hyperspace visit confused me. At the time I saw it during hyperspace it was beyond pleasurable, but after the fact the feeling is...different. So at a certain point in hyperspace I had this kaleidoscope vision of a woman bent of over doggy-style so that all I could see was her from behind with her bent legs arching toward me. Each leg intertwined into the next fractal repetition of the woman in the next "frame" of the kaleidoscope. Being somewhat Buddhist, it concerns me that during the time of simulated accession I may have chosen a scene of worldly manifestations and did not continue to push beyond in the bardo. The Diving Mother was enticing me. And just being spiritual in the larger sense, typically sex is associated with "baser" forms of energy so I guess that is where the "misaligned" feeling comes into this. I guess I just never realized how sexual my subconscious is.

thankyou

Well there are several currents within Buddhism. Since you mentioned the word "bardo" I thought you should be familiar with Tibetan Buddhism. While sex is considered to cloud the enlightening in most of them, Vajrayana Buddhism (mainly Tibetan) encourages sex (technically, sexual yoga to control the sensual energies) as means to Buddhahood, but only on committed practitioners that are NOT ordained monks. That means most sexual yoga techniques are kept secret and you can't be "somewhat" Buddhist in the practice, you must be a fully committed practitioner and have a guru to learn from.

Since it's highly improbable to get such preparation, follow the way of the ordained monks and use pure visualization in the sexual yoga. Pretty hard though, to eliminate desire in this yoga. I guess that's the point.

Thanks for the replies. I've been thinking about this all day. This scene is a small part from my first two breakthroughs. They have been different since, but that first breakthrough especially has never left my memory.

Mydriasis: sorry if I'm not picking it up as quickly as I should from your link (I even reread that bold part a few times), but I am not sure what you are trying to tell me. It's OK to release thoughts as long as one realizes that they are just thoughts and have no basis for reality? So instead of focusing on what I saw, I should rather focus on the experience in totality (and thus becoming "in the moment" by not becoming distracted by my mind's commentary)?

Strange Gray: I did think about sexual yoga in this context as well. But you even mention my fear which is that I am not trained or a fully committed practitioner of that lifestyle. I can't say for sure if desire has been swept aside or not (probably not being a 20 something male haha).

I did focus today and try truly reading the emotion and feeling from that hyperspace scene. It was overwhelmingly positive and alien at the same time. Though it created a strong sense of afterglow and respect in me. So perhaps in that sense, I may be making too much of a big deal of defining exactly what I saw when perhaps I should be focused on the contentment of the experience as a whole. An image can be reproduced while an experience (an emotion or feeling) is hard to mimic.

thankyou