I basically started getting visuals about 25 minutes after having imbibed the tea. I wanted to explore the whole CEV headspace thing with little outside influence (despite the body issues I brought on myself.) so for better or worse I went into a dark room and shut the door. I immediately got the chrysanthemum CEV and out of that pattern a set of Comedy-Tragedy masks manifested themselves along with a distant cackling. It was then that my own inner voice in concert with a shrieking womans voice asked the obvious question... "ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU SURE?" and then almost mockingly "THIS IS SERIOUS! THIS IS SERIOUS!" Then I broke through. I saw an image of what looked like a pitcher plant and identified myself as actually being this plant. I then identified myself as being connected with various beings, both unpleasant and eerily familiar. This became unsettling and after a longer or shorter time I shifted into a nondescript plane of perception where I perceived a frenzied circus-like atmosphere with stars, hats and other abstract symbols ripping by at a terrific rate. It was then that I identified all of this with the concept of the Maya of eastern philosophy, the Mother of Ten thousand Things and what some Christian mystics call the unqualified absolute. I perceived Maya as a brew being stirred by an alternating witch/wizard entity, the smoke from the brew being Maya and billowing into various symbols as the brew boiled. Whenever I would focus on the symbols they would change as often as I would discern their forms. It was then that I, through the vision and what little ego reflection I had available, came the understanding that all reality is a dream and that the DREAMER is the DREAM ITSELF, that there is no bottom or center to anything. I then perceived a vivid image of a cosmic gnome who had a beard and moustache made up of stars and galaxies. At that point some body issues once again came to the fore. The three pound bolus of crap food (yeah, I fasted though not long enough and I learned the hard way how long it takes for stuff to digest) digesting in my gut became an odd segueway in this psychedelic narrative, to the understanding of my body being nothing, but a dead piece of meat that will eventually be abandoned by the prana which is just dreamed up anyway. I eventually came out of visuals and stumbled my way out of the dark room into the light. For the next 16 hours I was in a pensive headspace. Over the following nights when able to sleep I would have very vivid dreams most of which I remember little.
So I guess this what happens when you drink the tea and have no intent or focus and when you don't fast or purify. I experienced the chaos in the trip that I put into it. I have since integrated the experience and have come to the conclusion that I was mentally rendering the concept of Maya.
1) Beings separate (or are dreamed) out of Maya.
2) Achieve I AM attainment, Selfhood and personality.
3) Unify various concepts out of Maya with the burgeoning Self creating what we understand as personalities.
This is in addition to various impersonal forces or associated phenomenon associated with the Maya/I AM repercussions.
I think that all of this could be mediated by an equally opposite Absolute constant in contrast to the Maya and that is God (Brahman), the absolute personality, the ultimate dreamer and paradoxically the most awake. The operations that I list numerically above are space/time unfolding projection of a process outside of space/time; the interaction between (and conceptual distinction) from God and the unqualified absolute (Maya) in the depths of eternity.
I gathered from this vision that our space-time universe is not fully realized, in other words not fully real in comparison to the absolute. The intrinsic nature of space-time is ongoing revelations of Absolute level realities.
As far as my own relation to the experience, I only manifested an immature chaos of (no) intent, the vary opposite of the absolute basis of reality. In short I got out what I put in.
This I know is a bit of a lengthy post, but for those of you interested in an example of what a badly prepared trip can manifest, I humbly offer this trip report as a lesson to all. Thank you all so much for you care and concern.
Guidance and peace!
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I found your report very lucid and interesting, and your interpretation utterly fascinating. I particularly enjoyed this quote:
"the DREAMER is the DREAM ITSELF."
You've given me another piece of the cosmic puzzle. Thanks.
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Very insightful/interesting post. Intent does seem to affect so much. I'll try to remember this when I try my aya brew =)
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I've read other trip reports about the comedy-tragedy masks. They tend to ask riddles and paradoxical questions. The traveler has to pick a side but each side complains that the other is a lie.
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