Witnessing my friend's journey, I could sense the intensity of the experience with him struggling to breathe at first and writhing around a bit but then ultimately coming to a place of peace. Afterward, it was my turn, and little did I know, I was about to undergo a profound transformation. With roughly 50mg on "the machine," I took as many deep inhales as i possibly could, i dont exactly remember how many it was at one point i was aided by others holding the hose to my face because i was struggling after the third hit and i just remember eventually being physically too out of it to continue or be in the room anymore and just let go. The experience led me through a complete death and rebirth, i remember seeing almost like a slide show happening so quickly i could barley keep up with it of what seemed like the creation of the universe and the course my energy had traveled from the beginning showing me past lives in the blink of an eye up until that point of smoking it, propelling me into a vibrational existence within a white realm where as soon as i gave in to death I was accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of what i could only imagine was pure love and this odd feeling of "ive been here before" As I returned to the couch of this persons house i had just met minutes ago who essentially had just delivered me from the astral plane, all i remember thinking was, "everything is going to be okay." [btw this is a horrible representation of this experience it was about 8 years ago so details are fuzzy and lacking at this point and this story does it no justice by any means] This experience changed me in ways I still cant explain to this day, it completely eliminated my fear of death, i remember not being able to stop thinking about the experience i just had for months after that. I realized that all I needed in life was food, water, and minimal shelter but that everything would ultimately be okay no matter what and that there was never anything to worry about. I told my landlord at the time who was a terrible person i would no longer be paying rent for next month, began giving away my stuff to close friends and put my 2 weeks notice in at my job. shortly after my friends had thrown a going away party for me and a couple days after my last day at my job i set off on foot heading up hwy 1 out of morro bay with my thumb out, embarking on a journey with just a backpack, sleeping bag, food, and water. For seven years, I traveled the country, hitchhiking, hopping freight trains, and walking. I worked when i could and would busk and do other hustles to make money along the way. I have done just about everything at this point from dish pit to working as a rodbuster on a bridge. Sadly at some point the initial spiritual ideologies from the experience and the adventure it led into eventually waned after the first couple years and i didnt properly integrate my experince with DMT leading me back to old vices and trapping me on the road. Despite sporadic encounters with DMT, my headspace was never ideal due to struggles with substance abuse. I decided to leave the road last year, been clean off hard drugs for 5 years now and quit drinking about 11 months ago (almost a year next month). I began working with microdoses/macrodoses of mushrooms and started to unpack the stuff that had happened through my life and the road at the beginning of last year. then about 3 months ago, DMT unexpectedly re-entered my life through the help of someone who is now a dear friend, and while there has been a lot of tumultuous journeys so far and lots of uncomfortable sessions, these beautiful medicine's have been helping me focus on self-care and personal growth restoring my spiritual faith in the universe and the process at large more so than i ever have before. In the last month and a 1/2, i found my way to the e-mesh from the same person who randomly brought DMT back into my life suggesting i build one and ive truly been so happy with it as a tool for accessing hyperspace. In fact ive loved the E-mesh so much that i assembled 2 of them as gifts for close friends already who really enjoy them as well. I've been so thankful for the encounters ive been having with it lately so much so it has finally prompted me to get the equipment together for my first extract and led me to here. I am very excited to be apart of this community and hope to learn everything i can and to hopefully be able to contribute and give back in some way and keep the spirit of this beautiful medicine going much love everyone thank you for taking the time to read my story, and i hope you are all having a wonderful day or night wherever you are "you are god and i am you." The_Embalmer attached the following image(s): 2022-04-03-9.jpg (199kb) downloaded 509 time(s).“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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Welcome to the forum. I too am new here. Your story is a good read. Glad to hear you are taking better care of the body. I am an alcoholic as was my father and his father before him, as well as my brothers. I am managing to stay mostly sober going on three years now. But I digress. Best wishes in ‘24 !
P.S. I’m a bit jealous about riding the trains. Always wanted to.
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Congrats on 3 years off alcohol that is huge! and thank you for the warm welcome to the forums hope you are having a beautiful day or night where ever you are and hope you are having a great start to the new year best wishes to you as well! “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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Wow. Incredible story man. The best part about it is that you survived, and you're here. I'd love to read more about this journey of yours and see more of these incredible pictures you've taken along that journey. You've lived a life that many people come to a cross-road decision on making. I've thought many times about just walking away from everything, and living the most minimalist existence possible, but you did more than just think about it. I hope you put together a series on the adventures you experienced. That would be a really great read, and you have a knack for writing. "You are what you seek" - Remi
Favorite trip tunes: Billie Eilish - No time to die | Hillsong United - Oceans | The Irrepressibles - In this shirt | Rhianne Music (YouTube Channel) - Somewhere only we know | Jessica Mazin - Never let me down again | Aquilo - Human | Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
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I have currently been debating grabbing a South bound. Did you ever run into any trouble riding rails or was it pretty easy going?
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Kmk6891 wrote:I have currently been debating grabbing a South bound. Did you ever run into any trouble riding rails or was it pretty easy going? I honestly wouldnt recommend it, while i do not regret my journeys it is still illegal and dangerous and you invite a lot of trouble when you go out on the rails. DexterMTripp wrote:Wow. Incredible story man.
The best part about it is that you survived, and you're here. I'd love to read more about this journey of yours and see more of these incredible pictures you've taken along that journey.
You've lived a life that many people come to a cross-road decision on making. I've thought many times about just walking away from everything, and living the most minimalist existence possible, but you did more than just think about it.
I hope you put together a series on the adventures you experienced. That would be a really great read, and you have a knack for writing.
Hey i appreciate the kind words man! I am very appreciative and glad to be here today. Some of my most profound lessons have come from my experiences on the road and i have been unpacking it over the past year with the help of using the medicines. There were things i was not seeing at the time because i was too closed off at a certain point but now i understand why i had to go through all of that. one of these days i plan to really sit down and write down the experiences from the road, so much happened it would take awhile to write it all out but i definitely plan to one of these days i do have some photos i dont mind sharing though The_Embalmer attached the following image(s): 2022-04-03-23.jpg (94kb) downloaded 314 time(s). 2022-04-03-17.jpg (608kb) downloaded 314 time(s). 2022-04-03-24.jpg (164kb) downloaded 315 time(s). 2022-04-03-18.jpg (714kb) downloaded 315 time(s). 2022-04-03-13.jpg (165kb) downloaded 315 time(s). 2022-04-03-31.jpg (259kb) downloaded 315 time(s). 2022-04-03-46.jpg (235kb) downloaded 314 time(s). 2022-04-03-56.jpg (223kb) downloaded 315 time(s). 2022-04-03-48.jpg (316kb) downloaded 314 time(s). 2022-04-03-39.jpg (481kb) downloaded 313 time(s). 2022-04-03-36.jpg (94kb) downloaded 312 time(s). 2022-04-03-12.jpg (113kb) downloaded 311 time(s). 2022-04-03-19.jpg (106kb) downloaded 310 time(s). 2022-04-03-49.jpg (224kb) downloaded 310 time(s). 2022-04-03-57.jpg (129kb) downloaded 309 time(s). 2022-04-03-43.jpg (196kb) downloaded 308 time(s). 2022-04-03-44.jpg (70kb) downloaded 307 time(s). 2022-04-03-35.jpg (163kb) downloaded 307 time(s). 2022-04-03-42.jpg (213kb) downloaded 308 time(s). 2022-04-03-38.jpg (93kb) downloaded 307 time(s). 2022-04-03-60.jpg (192kb) downloaded 305 time(s). 2022-04-03-28.jpg (190kb) downloaded 303 time(s). 2022-04-03-37.jpg (96kb) downloaded 301 time(s). 2022-04-03-63.jpg (182kb) downloaded 300 time(s). 2022-04-03-29.jpg (39kb) downloaded 299 time(s). 2022-04-03-25.jpg (33kb) downloaded 298 time(s). 20230625_112054.jpg (1,466kb) downloaded 294 time(s). 20220913_090756.jpg (2,129kb) downloaded 291 time(s). 20220913_090336.jpg (1,917kb) downloaded 290 time(s). 20220829_064805.jpg (1,365kb) downloaded 289 time(s). 20220829_055714.jpg (1,038kb) downloaded 287 time(s). 2022-04-03-51.jpg (95kb) downloaded 286 time(s). 20230626_202404.jpg (4,842kb) downloaded 284 time(s). 20230711_134010.jpg (634kb) downloaded 211 time(s). 20230625_140417.jpg (1,439kb) downloaded 210 time(s). 20230703_073425.jpg (6,102kb) downloaded 210 time(s). 20230626_190648.jpg (5,233kb) downloaded 208 time(s). 20230703_054531.jpg (5,896kb) downloaded 207 time(s). 20230703_051942.jpg (4,994kb) downloaded 198 time(s). 2022-04-03-55.jpg (300kb) downloaded 197 time(s). 20230629_065018.jpg (3,930kb) downloaded 195 time(s). 20230629_063256 (1).jpg (5,505kb) downloaded 194 time(s). 20230626_194237 (1).jpg (2,414kb) downloaded 193 time(s). 2022-04-03-62 (1).jpg (424kb) downloaded 193 time(s). 20230629_063521.jpg (4,904kb) downloaded 189 time(s).“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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The_Embalmer wrote: i do have some photos i dont mind sharing though
Whoa! These are fire!! I know you don't recommend it, but like anything, I'm sure you started the journey a bit scared and by the end you were a professional hobo. It looks like you went everywhere. How long did you stay in an area when you went? Did you stick by the tracks, or did you wander off and visit the local sites. With your skill set you could literally disappear from the radar, and no one would find you. What kind of research and prep work did you do if any before you started? What items became the most important to you once you whittled everything down to necessities? What was your most prized possession that if you lost it would have been big problems? Can't wait for the book, man. "You are what you seek" - Remi
Favorite trip tunes: Billie Eilish - No time to die | Hillsong United - Oceans | The Irrepressibles - In this shirt | Rhianne Music (YouTube Channel) - Somewhere only we know | Jessica Mazin - Never let me down again | Aquilo - Human | Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
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1. How long did you stay in an area when you went? At one point I wouldn't be in an area for more than a week. I'd start getting anxiety after a couple days even but as time went on there were times where I'd find work and stay in a town for a month. When I worked on a bridge for 2020 I was off the road then from February till November, that was an excellent job, then the following year I got a job with a seaweed crew and did that for a season from April till November. Those were probably my longest bouts off the road. 2. Did you stick by the tracks, or did you wander off and visit the local sites? I did a bit of both depending on where I was at or what mood I was In. 3. What kind of research and prep work did you do if any before you started? None. I was very unprepared for the journey and didn't know what I was doing and when I ran into other travelers along the way they helped me with what they learned. For example my hometown was no where near a mainline or hopout so I didn't even know hopping trains was a thing for awhile. I was just hitchhiking for the first couple months. 4. What items became the most important to you once you whittled everything down to necessities? A Good tarp, and an indestructible water jug that is insulated. 5. What was your most prized possession that if you lost it would have been big problems? I had many prized possessions and never held onto them very long. I'd either give them away to someone else when I got drunk at some point or lose it. I never carried too much or tried to get attached to too much but over the years lots of items had come and gone. To get attached to something on the road is impractical to survival. Losing a sentimental item hurts so it's best to never make that connection to begin with because when you lose it becomes a bigger deal than you'd like to admit and that doesn't feel good especially when you're out there. I had a rail worker give me a bnsf hat from the Clyde yard in Chicago. That was about the only thing I managed to keep from the road and I just gave it to a friend in Nola recently because I was too attached to the hat and it was time for me to move on from that time of my life. If I ever manage to get around to writing one it'd be fun but it might honestly all just live in my head as memories and nothing else. It was mostly a dark experience for me and probably wouldnt be a pleasant read for most but it made me who I am today. “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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The Embalmer, Wow, amazing story and journey. Thank you so much for sharing. If you might have a chance to edit the first few paragraphs to eliminate references to commerce (buy/sell) that would be awesome, as it violates the rules. Having gotten that out of the way, my only other caution is about purchasing glassware online. That stuff is watched and frankly unnecessary to get the job done. Please stay safe. Your life has been such an amazing journey. I am curious about what you see in your future? Thanks for sharing those amazing pics. Again, a signular and remarkable journey for the modern era. "But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU
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My deepest apologies! I definitely wasn't trying to break the rules but I went ahead and edited that part of the story out. Also I should've mentioned that I live in an area where DMT is decriminilized now but still yes you always should watch out with ordering stuff like this online as you don't want to end up on a watch list and even decriminalization doesn't save me from a watch list but fortunately I am not important enough and don't produce enough for it to be of any real concern. I also have no interest or desire to sell and don't believe in that. Sadly there are people in this area already producing it on large scale and it breaks my heart. Even a couple dispensaries now... But yes pandora is not wrong be very careful when ordering lab equipment online or lab grade products as this is an easy way to end up on a list and invite unwanted trouble in your life. The job can easily be done with a mason jar, a glass turkey baster, and a Pyrex dish. For right now what I see in my future is that I honestly have been thinking about going back to school for bioscience. Thank you for the kind words pandora! 🩷 “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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[My phone keeps posting stuff twice for some reason and then I can't delete the post, like my phone glitches and it posts the same post twice.] “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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The_Embalmer wrote:My deepest apologies! I definitely wasn't trying to break the rules but I went ahead and edited that part of the story out. Thank you so much for the quick fix. The_Embalmer wrote:Also I should've mentioned that I live in an area where DMT is decriminilized now Haha, me too. . . . we may be neighbors. "But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU
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There is certainly a chance of that! Hope you are having a wonderful day! ❤️ “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
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The_Embalmer wrote:1. How long did you stay in an area when you went?
At one point I wouldn't be in an area for more than a week.....
Very interesting, and thank you for the reply. Tarp, and water jug. Two of the 10 C's. (Cover, container). I'm sure cutting tool, combustion, and cordage were in that pack. I bet you met some colorful people on your journey. This is my favorite story yet. I can close my eyes and imagine it, especially with the added photos (even though my imagination isn't probably anywhere near reality). "You are what you seek" - Remi
Favorite trip tunes: Billie Eilish - No time to die | Hillsong United - Oceans | The Irrepressibles - In this shirt | Rhianne Music (YouTube Channel) - Somewhere only we know | Jessica Mazin - Never let me down again | Aquilo - Human | Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek
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I can't say that I've had a similar experience and the shedding of everything in your life still (at this point) terrifies me, but there is also something incredibly freeing about it. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your post and what brought you here. I've had positive and negative experiences with the variety of different medicines the world offers us as well as the ones that we create. I also have struggled with alcohol addiction through my life. After a few decades on this earth, and after my last mycelial experience, I found myself laughing as I thought about what my 25 year old self would think of the current version of me. I no longer drink caffeine or alcohol, I take journeys regularly and have worked my ass off in therapy, and I treat my health (physical, mental, and spiritual) as paramount now, versus who I was those years ago. Welcome to this side of things, the less impacted side of things I like to think. I feel personally more whole and invested than I did while drinking and doing various other substances. I hope that we both continue to integrate our life experiences and heal our spirits. Sending love and good thoughts. Our actions have ripples in the world. No matter how small or large, they effect those around us for better and for worse. Be cognizant of the ripples you create.
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