Hi everybody,
First of all i wanna say sorry for my english, i actually thought it to be better but here we are. I also wanna thank you all for creating and participating in such a wonderful and useful forum.
My name is Nico and i come from Italy actually living in Denmark.(Is it normal to say this on this forum? Dont know but i got nothing to hide).
I used to be an artist, a painter to be precise but now i'm more on the failed artist business;i love growing plants and taking care of animals( dogs,horses).
I've spent most of my life doing all sort of crazy shit (h,coke) now i'm older and i've settled down a bit if we can say so. I use to live on the street or in strange situations and do the whatever was needed to catch my daily dose and suffered from various mental problems since early childhood. I'm probably the exact person that shouldn't use psychedelics but i do.
Mushrooms for example have helped me a lot with depression and anxiety, after a "crazy" cycle of 6 years of SSRI i was able to stop it and instead take a micro-dose of mushroom following a schedule.Now i can feel my dick again and i don't have that sense of dissociation that ssri collateral effects use to gave me. I don't recommend it to anyone, this is just what worked for me.
I wanted to write here just to introduce myself to this wonderful gang (lol) and i just wanted to talk a bit about my late experience with the spice.
I've learned from this site and other platforms almost 3/4 months ago the sacred rituals and everything that is necessary to obtain the spice. I don't have a full understand of the process but i follow the steps and know the risks of the various chemicals i use. I just use a simple StB tek with naphta and freeze precipitate.
In the beginning the first experiences have been eye opening, it seems like dmt was trying to show me what i had to do to live a more full filling life.
I'll just make a stupid example: one of the first time i've smoked it after it came down i started cleaning up all of my house and a sensation of purpose stayed with me for a while( in contrast with the depressive feelings i usually experience). I prefer sub breaktrough exp. as i just lay in my bed close my eyes and live it this way. I went on a pretty regular basis and all experience where pretty nice, i could feel the kind of spirits i was dealing with where trying to show me in a benign way.
Then i got my first break trough and it was also a great experience.
Now i've stopped doing it so regularly because my last three experience were at least terrifying. One time i nearly pissed my self i tried to walk to the bathroom but it seemed like i was in 1 and 1000 different houses and couldn't orientate myself. I ended up pissing in the kitchen sink lol.
Last two times it felt like the substance itself or some kind of spirit was kind of "hating" on me, for what i am, for all the stupid shit i've done in my life. Also some pretty disturbing sound were presents, like a buzz in the ears. The message in simple words was "leave this stuff to the natives, to the people that belong to this", maybe i have to read something to get a deeper understanding of this substance. It ain't just a psychedelic, i think there is something much deeper to it.
Now i don't know if i'll try again in the future, probably yes cause i'm full of this stuff. I'll probably wait till i clear my head and maybe when i am in a better mental situation.
More then mental i'd say a better financial and relational situation.
Hope my stupidity didn't bother you too much
Lot of love
Nicolas

n1cob,

Welcome to the Nexus.

I have to make a confession. I really WANT to read your entire intro but the wall of text got to me. If you could edit it and put a carriage return between each paragraph, it would really help.

Danmark Represent!!
I live there too ^^