Let me start by saying, he's a weak little b and he almost had a taste, if it's all real.

So I am 32 and did my first dmt trip when I was 22. It was chaos where I kept thinking I was stuck, but I guess I'm stubborn and did it a few more times in my 20s, every time it was about the same. Absolute fuckery, DEFCON 6 level, end of the world, you're stuck and will never leave. You can read my old posts about it in detail.

So, I drink alcohol a lot, eat like shit, and don't exercise. I am not overweight but have had acne since high school. My life is amazing, loving family, loving wife and dogs, and great luck in entrepreneurship, but I have always had a feeling that something is following me. My little biography.

Anyway, I haven't done DMT in years due to the horrifying trips. Deep down I know what it means, that I need to take care of myself. But I know I do have addictions, temptations, and am a fiend to things. These temptations, I haven't gotten past and feel like I am almost out of "free passes" if I keep pushing past the veil. I know, but please keep reading.

== Soul Snatcher part for the TLDR people

So I've been experimenting with nitrous. Not often at all, but it seems to put me back into that same place of "you're stuck now" DMT when I take too big of an inhale of the nitrous.

The 5-8 sessions I have had in the past year always put me in a somewhat similar spot. During these sessions, I get these either mindfuck or profound revelations I usually cannot recollect. But collectively, they seem to be growing more and more obvious. Sometimes it's yelling in my face and I come out thinking that "YES, I need to quit drinking and I am working on it." Sometimes it's just the regular nitrous feeling. And sometimes it's something sinister feeling, a jester laughing in my face, telling me that if you do it again, you will regret it.

Just now, I had a really scary experience. This deep-voiced evil feeling entity (yes, it sounded exactly like when you talk after taking a big hit of nitrous or other heavy gas) offered me something, kinda like passing a joining "Here, just take it, you know you want it" and I almost did. there was another entity next to it telling it not to do it. Like STOP, please don't do this to him. The first entity got really angry with the nice one and I came out of the trip.

It was really scary and made sense for the 2-minute afterglow, like damn, I really do have something following me.

What is this and what would have happened if I grabbed the demon joint? Could I have gotten possessed or something just now or is this all metaphorically to how I tried myself and how I need to get better?

Thank you

Nothing can be conclusively said of what is real and not real. Perhaps the question itself is nonsensical! I would say, perhaps focus more the metaphor, or whatever you think would be more helpful to you in life. Whether you see it as some devil trying to take your soul, or a mere metaphor for your inner demons, the relevant aspect is only the real impact on your life. I would go as far as to say that, in a way, you can see all questions about the true nature of reality as merely nonsense. You may well consider everything to be unreal, but you will still be faced with the issues of life, and that you will have to deal with!

Welcome back and thanks for sharing.

The experience you describe sounds to me almost like a dramatization of the inner working of addiction, and your desire to escape from it. Maybe you've seen the recent thread, What are your thoughts on alcohol?; that might be a place to explore that relationship some more.

You say "addictions" in the plural though. Would that be something you'd be willing to expand upon here? Either way, it looks as though you can see the choice that you face quite clearly. We're here to support you in your own strength to move forward with this.

Something I've found to have almost completely eliminated my own desire to drink alcohol is regular useof Syrian rue/harmala alkaloids. YMMV of course, and there important considerations about compatibility with certain other substances so I'll avoid getting too far ahead of myself with this one!

The combination of DMT with harmala alkaloids, or plants that contain them, is of course well known. Have you ever tried this?

As far as your last question goes, we can only speculate. Perhaps, had you accepted the "demonic joint" it rather would have allowed a deeper exploration of the issue. Do we even know what "demonic possession" is? From a materialist perspective, ii's all down to neurological interconnections and their relative weightings. The trick is in how we actively optimise all of this in order to manage the relative balance of harmful and beneficial behaviors.

Did you re-read your old thread? This all seems very much like a continuation of that same theme.