VirginLungs,
Welcome to the Nexus and thank you for sharing such an interesting post.
I am sorry you are experiencing what you consider to be adverse after effects of your DMT experiments.
Did you get any visuals?
Why do I do this? I started doing this in 2009 because I was going crazy and experiencing a terrible midlife crisis and deep burn out in my 40s. I remember doing psychedelics in my 20s and had always been interested in DMT. And then I stumbled across the Entheogen Review and it led to Noman's DMT for the Masses extraction TEK and it also led me here to the Nexus.
Suddenly my life was filled with a type of novelty and astonishment that I hadn't experienced since childhood if ever. The burnout was gone. The joie de vivre was back.
DMT has shown me a level of beauty inside my own mind that I did not know was possible.
After a few more experiences I had a classical mystical experience although at the time I didn't have the language to understand what had happened. To this day I feel that experience has fundamentally changed me, my relationship towards life and my view of death. For the better.
For various reasons in 2016 I took a 7 year break from chemicals but now I'm in my mid 50s and I remember always thinking that DMT felt like good practice for death and that's why I wanted to come back to it. Most of my family is dead and my husband and I can definitely see the yawning grave ahead. That and I have some anger issues I've been working on.
I think reasons for DMT use will be as diverse as DMT users.
I want to reassure you that what you were describing as negative effects are in fact known as the body load. It is part of the DMT experience. Your body does feel strange, heavy, disconnected. If you get enough in to you you may actually lose touch with your body which can be rather disconcerting.
All I can say is you don't think about breathing when you sleep and you don't think about the Kreb's cycle when you digest. Trust the body. It knows what it's doing even if you're not there.
DMT is a very safe drug. The key is an extreme kind of letting go - abject surrender. DMT expects nothing less and rewards well. I am a leaf on the wind. See how I soar!
Again, welcome
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"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President, MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2Hyperspace LOVES YOU