I'll keep it short. Around 5 years ago I smoked dmt for the first time. The person who helped me gave me more than enough of their stuff to blast a regular partaker off. I didn't blast off. As far as I got was seeing a Neverending space with my eyes closed and then rushing up to a vibrating multicolored rainbow net. Then I came back. I never lost awareness of my surroundings. I sometimes wonder if instead of blasting off I blasted inwards and am still on that trip. I'm severelly mentally ill and an recovering drug addict and part of me hopes I did blast inwards and this trip is for me to resolve my tramaus and one day I'll come back to in that tent a changed person. I know this sounds like reality avoidance and it is on some level, but... things have gotten progressively more strange since that fateful day almost as if the universe is lovingly poking fun at me. I don't know I guess I'm just lost and looking for help with understanding what has been happening.

Typically the term "blast off" means simply smoalking DMT. Breaking through is a threshold of peak experiences that can be had on DMT.

If you are still feeling the effects of the trip then it sounds like it could be HPPD, hallucinogen persisting perception disorder, wherein one still experiences psychedelic effects long after the molecule has been metabolized and been moved out of their system. Otherwise, it could be an effect of having your mind open in a new way that you're experiencing.

Things also change over time. All things. Even change. Keep an open mind, try meditating, focus on living a balanced lifestyle. Stay curious. Grow your awareness. And if need be, get professional help as well. Make sure you're taking care of yourself while you come to understand your experience and yourself.

One love

Thank you for sharing your story. Do you think you can (and want to) elaborate a bit on how your life has just gotten more strange? It might be useful for others to help you make sense of your situation.

Indeed, you still being in that trip sounds a bit escapist. I am wondering, what is it that you gain from this idea? What would be different if you would be certain that this is not the case?

Anyways, sending much love and strength towards you, you got this!