After a dozen sub-breakthrough experiences over the course of two months, I finally got to experience a breakthrough two days ago, culminating in a second breakthrough experience today that resulted in complete ego death. This entry is meant to tell my journey with DMT and what I experienced.

The Beginning

I was introduced to psychedelics this summer when I came upon an enthusiastic suggestion to watch How to Change your Mind on Netflix. Before watching this docuseries, I had been a daily cannabis user for over a decade but had never experienced any other mind-altering molecules. I did not consider myself a spiritual person then. I had always described myself as agnostic. Even cultivated a disdain for organized religions. Have always been fascinated by science fiction (grew up on Star Wars IV-V-VI and Stargate SG-1 playing on the TV a lot).

Initially my attention was focused on the four entheogens presented in the series: LSD, MDMA, psilocybin and mescaline. It wasn’t until I discovered psychonaut forums and subreddits that I learned of DMT’s existence. (Upon first hearing “DMT” I initially thought it sounded like the name of an explosive… in the end it sort of is… for the mind!)

I decided to experiment with LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin first. I was aware they could not prepare me for DMT, but I hoped to build points of reference so I could better situate DMT’s experience on the psychedelic scale of awesomeness when I’d eventually try it. Had a 125ug LSD trip, two golden teacher (3g and 3.5g) trips and a 300mg mescaline voyage. All of which were wonderful, but I won’t elaborate on these today.

I purposefully avoided reading too much about DMT so as not to taint my first experience. I had only told an experienced psychonaut friend about my intentions. After asking a few questions about how I intended to administer it and such, he conveyed I should thread carefully and respectfully.

My vaping method of choice since the beginning has been my Mininail enail rig (below) with a quartz banger. I experimented with temperatures and found 380F/198C to be ideal. I weigh my doses with a milligram scale and inhale the dose in one hit and hold at least 10 seconds.


The first experience: 20mg

Though my vaping apparatus is efficient, my initial technique was poor. I was used to cannabis rosin only, not practiced with keeping vapor in for 10+ seconds. Therefore, my first half dozen DMT trips, I probably only got 60-70% of the total weighted dose absorbed in my bloodstream.

I distinctly remember my first time. I was completely surprised by the speed of the onset. I hit the vape thinking I’d have time to set myself comfortably on my lounging chair and setup my music, but I felt like I had been put in a canon and propelled into orbit with a booster rocket up my ass for good measure.

I remember thinking “oh my god I fucked up, I’m going to die, my wife and children are going to find my body lying dead on this chair.” I was not at all prepared. The colors around me were so vivid, the blacks all matte, and the corners of my computer monitors which are normally rounded were suddenly sharply angled.

I had never in my life experienced reality shifting so quickly before me. I felt enamored by the rush of this new discovery. I immediately tried vaping another 20mg right after comedown, but I regretted it. It was a disorienting few minutes that did not feel enchanting. I felt mentally drained, like I had just finished writing a 3h o-chem exam.

Subsequent sub-breakthrough experiences: 20-60mg, a dozen times

My next few trips were spent trying incrementally higher doses, from 30 to 60mg. In the lower range I would trip with my headphones on and with my eyes closed. I felt like I was traveling inside a kaleidoscope. Time would get distorted quite a bit, but I was still anchored in my reality in spite of the bright and vivid fractals and shapes coming in and out of existence in my mind.

It wasn’t until trip #8 or #9 that I began experiencing world superpositions. I would hallucinate with my eyes closed, and upon opening them, what I saw would stay in my field of view. This was with doses in the 60mg range. During trip #10 I remember looking at my body and not seeing my arms, but could still feel my wedding ring on my finger. That was quite trippy, and my first glance at what ego death would feel like later.

I would get extremely introspective after these last trips, murmuring to myself something in the vein of “we exist in a soup of atoms, we are all linked, at the same time, all at once, all the time.” It nourished an instinct that there is interconnectivity beyond what we can see in our usual realm of consciousness.

Despite the amazing voyages, which are the most spiritual experiences I ever had in my life at that point, I was growing steadily frustrated that I wasn’t breaking through. I knew I wasn’t because psychonaut friend was adamant that when I would, I would see things I could not begin to describe with words. This led me to realize I had the wrong mindset. I decided to recenter and recalibrate myself.

The very first breakthrough: 80mg

I meditated for 10 minutes before toking. Deep breathing. I asked the molecule to let me in if it thought I was ready. I dropped the crystals in the ebanger and began a slow, deep and long inhale and went “HOOOOOOOOOOOLD!” in my head.

There was the usual the usual rocket launch feeling but it was much shorter than usual. It felt like I passed out and was suddenly teleported to a neon doorway floating within a cloud that continuously shifted in colors. On the other side there was an entity, who appeared to be sitting on a toilet, laughing its ass off. At or, or with me. I felt the message was “Look how ridiculous all that fear and pressure you were feeling was! You made it, come see!”. I traveled through doorway and was greeted by a giant faceless entity with translucent wings. Like those giant great fairies in the Zelda games, but without a face. Felt like a feminine, all knowing and powerful force. I felt welcome. I had no body, but I could feel a pressure over me. I couldn’t figure out where it came from. That’s when I remembered I had a body, with headphones and eyeshades on. The strapping effect of these two items transcended into the DMT realm and made me feel uncomfortable. I was able to remove the headphones and eye mask and tried to head back to the entity, but was coming down already.

As I came back to my reality and opened my eyes to find my mancave again, I immediately went HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! I immediately wanted to contact my psychonaut friend and let him in my excitement, because he has broken through once in a terrifying experience that led him to never use DMT again. I was happy to let him know mine was a positive, wholesome experience.

I was shocked by two things:

1. How quickly the trip slips away as soon as you regain consciousness. Feels like you forget 90% of the voyage within the first two minutes.

2. How “realer” than real life the experience felt.

It was life changing.

There are no other proper descriptive to label that kind of experience.

Ego death: second breakthrough, 70mg

Now that I knew what a breakthrough felt like, and had the proper vaping technique, I set out to start exploring the minimal dose that will let me breakthrough. For the first time, I was going to trip without headphones or music. I took off my wedding ring and any object I felt may anchor me in this reality or become a distraction that could manifest in the DMT realm.

I did the same meditation and deep breathing as last time, loaded my weighted dose in the banger and started pulling.

I was expecting the usual rocket launch, tunneling in the kaleidoscope before being thrown into the realm, but there was no such thing. I went offline.

I remember feeling my heart racing as I was holding the vapor in my lungs with my eyes closed and already laying down. Then it all went black. First thing I knew I was floating in the cosmos. Bodyless. There was this gigantic thing that looked like a neuron floating in front of me. It moved and swirled, continuously shifting colors. There was light emanating from the center.

My initial thought: “I’m dead.”

I had no idea who or what I was. Where I was. I had no recollection of having taken DMT moments before. No identity, no sense of self. Nada. I remember feeling scared and panicking at that prospect.

I was then pulled through the center of the giant neuron looking thing and was transported to a cluster of planets, stars, galaxies, nebulas and cloud giants. Bright, vivid colors all around me. Gargantuan in its magnificence. I felt soothed. It was like bathing in infinite beauty. I thought I was being taken on a sightseeing tour of the most beautiful vistas the Universe had to offer.

When I came back to reality, my head was pulsing. I had a gigantic grin on my face. I was completely blown away, and I knew, forever changed.

Integration

I don’t know what the fuck that word is supposed to mean. I guess putting my exploration in writing is a first step.

What I do know is that three months ago I was one of the least spiritual person you could find in Canada. Today, my vision and perspective of the ethereal, the afterlife, spirituality and the meaning of life have completely transformed.

No other way to conclude but to share the words of one of our greatest… Take It easy, dude, but take it.

PS. I don’t know if the Wachowski siblings ever shared publicly that they did DMT but after all these experiences it occurred to me, they MUST have tripped a lot on it before writing The Matrix and most of their other projects. Jacking into the Matrix and being transported to another place instantly is exactly what my ego death experience felt like.

It was very interesting to read how your DMT adventure progressed.
Thank you for taking the time to put this in writing.
And I also have to confess that, like you, the first time I read the name "DMT" I thought it was an explosive.

Hey, welcome!

I think you will find it here that you are not alone in your experiences, welcome on to the path

Share more here, read more here, go to esoteric /psychedelic/spiritual/mystical/religious literature. Meditate a lot.

Only one thing is your doses, they are gargantuan. I got there with 40mg, anything above 50mg probably would be a blackout. You sure your spice is pure?

They really are big. I've been wondering the same.

I'm sure the spice is not the problem, it was lab tested like I do everything else. We have free access to infrared spectrometry lab tests where I live, so there is no reason not to lab test things.

I know I did not empty the bubbler's chamber when I was doing 60, 70 or 80mg. I've emptied it with 40mg and still wasn't breaking through, but I also experimented with lower vape temps that were not as successful.

Now that I've got a temp that I know works well for me and my technique down, I'll be working my way down until I find the minimal dose that works for me.

I don't know if it's relevant but I've been using full spectrum DMT for these trips. It was lab tested for 80-85% DMT and the rest is n-methytryptamine and betacarboline.

On my first breakthrough, my actual weighted dose was 100mg, which would have been 80-85mg of DMT (which is what I wrote in my report). Like I said earlier I did not empty the chamber fully but there was very little left.

I tried at least 4 times with 40mg and was getting nowhere near what I experienced the last two times. I did switch to a long, slow and deep inhale instead of trying to empty the bubbler as fast as possible, and the slow approach seems to work better too.

It really boggled my mind when I started reading how people reliably breakthrough at 20 or 30mg. I've ordered an e-mesh. For its portability but also to test if its more efficient method.

Hello and welcome!

That's the kind of awesome intro write up I just love to see!

Thanks for the lol too It fitted in so nicely with the flow of the writing too - which you do very well, btw.

It does sound rather like your vaping technique is somehow inefficient so you would be wise to scale your doses right back when you start with the e-mesh. If you want to look into how you might clean up your DMT we can help you with that too. The NMT and betacarboline may contribute to a slight unpredictability in dose response.

I tried a 50mg dose with my pure DMT and that was... awful.

Complete ego death but no visuals that I can remember. I had my eyes wide open wondering who the hell I was or where I was.

The experience with the NMT and betacarboline felt so much nicer. I did not think they made such a big difference.

50mg of pure DMT was definitely too much.

So excited to try. What would you or anyone else recommend to use dosage wise for a beginner? Then how quickly back I dose up to try for breakthrough. Limited product only got about 10 trips and 2-3 will be for friends so I’ll be around 5-7 for myself. Will I know when I had a breakthrough vs just being in the waiting room?