My initiation to this forum came after having the most powerful transformative experience of my life with 5meo, which I had been told at the time was n,n. I was somewhat confused at all the reports which did not reflect my experience. Coming across n,n somewhat later, I realized that this was not what I had encountered and was pretty shocked at the intrusion into my consciousness of seemingly discarnate beings, and some interactive "other", whereas with the 5, I was basically erased. Hence, my handle of null.
They are two totally different things. Not having done aya, I cannot speak to that, but I do have extensive experience with changa and may other seratonergic chemicals, none of which come close to having the character of 5. It is a different beast altogether.
IME, n,n is utterly strange, something that is best left not questioning or really attempting to understand but better left just experiencing. It has given me more questions than answers, kind of like seeing a UFO or something. 5 took all the questions away and showed me an infinite and eternal universe existing within and without me, and my simultaneously intrinsic and extraneous relationship to it. It filled the giant hole in my chest where meaning should reside. Over ten years on, I am still incorporating that on the daily. It informs my movement through life, whereas n,n does not.
I am curious why you revolted against it, not that that is not unreasonable. Was it too much? Was it the sudden terrifying onset of death? What was the dose, how was it admistered? Were you in ceremony or on your own? What was the experience like?
Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon
*γνῶθι σεαυτόν*