Below I share a sample from my book of the first time I smoked DMT. This occurred when I was 18 in the upstairs attic of my buddy Slater's House, along with my friend Louis who was celebrating his birthday smoking DMT. There were multiple strangers in this group setting of 7. I was also on a light dose of DXM at the time (180mg). If you would like a full copy of the story, let me know and I'll happily offer a PDF-
Anyway, here's a sample from Chapter 11 of "The Patterns of Existence"
I could not wait to ask Louis what it was like because he appeared to be on another planet. Then the DMT man turned to where I was on the floor, and after repacking the pipe, handed it my direction. I thought it was to be longer before my turn but the time seemed to be now. Louis was still tripping; I had not shared a word with him. My chest began to feel like my legs after a long run, as if a growing pool of lactic acid was surging through it. “You seem weary,” he said, perfectly observing my emotional state. “Do you not want to do it?” I thought for a second, figuring the nerves were normal, and at that moment I decided I was smoking DMT tonight. When else would I ever get an opportunity? Everything before had just been an idea. This was where the choice was made.
160 “No, I’m ready.” I paused. “When should I take the hit?” “When you see a little trickle of vapor in the pipe, take it and hold it in.” I held the glass tube in my hand and moved it back and forth over the flame he was holding. The room was quiet and I felt people’s eyes on me. The feeling in my chest grew exponentially by the second, and my heart pounded. Then the vapor appeared and it was time. I brought my lips to the pipe and took one big inhale. The entire room was still, and I handed him the pipe before lying down on my back and staring up at a sublime blacklight poster. The intensity of the drug came on immediately. The world around me seemed to vibrate, and the ceiling and poster had pronounced clear edges and visual acuity. The only thing I could compare it to was the come-up stage of an LSD trip. The poster grew more vibrant and colorful while the sublime sun throbbed towards me, and then I noticed some special words on the poster: “Just let the lovin’ take hold.” I smiled, and it felt like my entire body was on the brink of falling asleep, almost like I was floating. A purple and reddish hue began to develop around my peripherals, and I could not help but drawl out, “I can’t believe this is DMT! I can’t believe this is DMT! It feels so familiar.” The DMT man expressed gladness in the positivity of my moment, but then a cackling laughter assaulted my ears. It was Louis experiencing some stage of the trip, and I caught a glimpse of him. His face was red and scrunched and
161 his expression was sinister. Frightened, I quickly sat up from the floor and looked at the man who had given me the hit. “How long does this last?!” I asked frantically. “Just five minutes man, just five minutes.” I looked around the room in a panic until I made eye contact with Jayce who said: “It’s alright man, it’s okay.” Something about his demeanor calmed me and I looked at him for another few seconds unnervingly and said “Yeah?” “Yeah, just relax man. Just relax.” I had only known this guy for a little over an hour, but his vibe was peaceful and reassuring. He reminded me of my long-time friend Dakota, and though I was still a bit anxious, I lay back down to look at the poster. With Louis’s disheartening laughter over and a reassurance that the trip would not last long, I let myself slide back in. In an instant, all of the tightness and sensation of lactic acid in my chest disappeared and was replaced by a profound sense of peace. Then, it dawned on me. Love is the key. I sat up once again and began quickly texting my girlfriend how much I loved her, and how happy I was to be loved. My heart fluttered and my soul rested easy in acceptance of being in love. Finally, the doubt and worry I had carried with me in the past months was extinguished. Love was all that I needed, and I could not help but smile and hold close to my heart this feeling. Louis had mostly come down and was sharing his experience, while I kept texting my love and swooning to
162 the feeling. Then, Louis and Slater both looked at me and asked how my trip had been. I shared how much love I felt and how absolutely incredible the feeling was. They both smiled and sincerely expressed how happy they were for me, and the entire room seemed to be filled with love. I did want to see what else DMT held, and I looked to the man who had given it to me and asked, “Can we do more?” “No, you’ve got a tolerance to it now. You have to wait until another day.” My curiosity was there, but I was not disappointed, only happy to share with everyone the great love I felt, and how much truth the saying “Love is all we got” holds.
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First, very very beautiful. That sounds like a glorious first disembarkation with the Spice. That said, if I may, place some spaces between your sections/paragraphs so as to make it more reader friendly. I think many would enjoy this trip report. Ime, and this could be due to elevated sensitivities, any tolerance built after one journey is negligible and one should be able to go roughly the same distance on the same dose in the same day. What was your girlfriend's response to your experience? I know that overwhelming love feeling well. You painted a vivid picture and I felt I was witnessing you in your experience throughout. How have you felt since that experience? How has it changed you. Thank you for sharing your well crafted writing . One love What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves. Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims DMT always has something new to show you Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea... All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
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I will adjust the formatting for sure-it's in a 5x7 for paperback printing purposes.
I'm almost 23 now, so it's been over 4 years since this experience. My girlfriends response was highly supportive, and I write this now still happily in love years later. She was all embracing for the love I felt that night, and so it flowed through my into many areas of my life.
Thank you very much for responding and the feedback. It means a lot to hear that my writing was immersive for you. It motivates me to continue writing, and sharing the benefit I have gotten from these experiences.
In terms of the long term effect on my feelings following this trip, one of the most pronounced aspects was the power in a group of people. I am quite introverted and prefer to spend my time with just a couple close friends, but this experience opened me up to the beauty in a group setting by displaying the diversity of vibes within the room. It seemed so contrary to where I thought my first DMT experience would occur-alone by candlelight to explore my mind. Instead, it was with people I had met that night and I could not have designed it any better.
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