Good afternoon all,
So I have been using the direct e-mesh method lately. I have the rig all set up and has been working just fine... for the most part. The day that I replaced my old box mod with a newer mod and a better chip set for temp control, I loaded 50mg for both my fiance and myself. I loaded 50mg because I was determined to go deep and wasn't going to take any chances.
She got off like a rocket and I could see it come on quickly. She didn't take the whole thing in one hit and had to hit it again, lots of smoke and she didn't hold it for more than a couple seconds so I thought she may have shorted herself, but she described quite a remarkable experience so I felt confident that we were up and running.
I took mine in one smooth, deep inhale and was able to hold it for more than 20 seconds. It was so fast, so powerful, so mind meltingly intense. I connected with source energy and received messages from shamans of the past like I was part of some ethereal right of passage.
The next journey was quite different. I vaped 40mg and it was quite a bit less powerful but I attributed this to the fact that my hit was shallow and I did not hold it for long. It also got chaotic because there were distracting sounds and my entity (I encounter the same one over and over and she has been "training me" in a way) seemed to be agitated by this and the trip went dark and ended rather quickly. I did however receive these interesting insights that were coming in like a flood afterward. It was quite a different experience for sure.
The next time, my fiance and I both vaped 20mg. She had very intense visuals and had to close her eyes at one point because it was a little overwhelming. I had barely any visuals.
I vaped 40mg the next night (last night) and it was exactly the same, very weak. Later on she vapes 10mg and is blasted into the tunnel wondering how she got there and thinking she wasn't supposed to be there was afraid she was stuck.
I posted some of this in the e-mesh thread but decided this sounds more like a metaphysical issue rather than a technical delivery issue because the vape seems to be functioning just fine. There is never any burnt taste, no burning sensations, just a clean vape and virtually nothing left on the mesh when I am done.
I am posting his here so that I can keep a record of these strange experiences and see if anyone in the community has experienced anything similar. I have heard of people being hyperslapped after too many doses in a short time. I have heard of people blacking out on too much in one dose. My experiences these last couple of weeks are really confusing.
My plan and intent from here are to start with 10mg tonight, and increasing the dosage by 5mg over the next few days and reporting my experiences to see what kind of feedback I receive and share any discoveries, insights, and experiences for those who may be interested.
I am convinced that this molecule is more than just a molecule, but I really can't say I have any idea what that means. Please feel free to call me out if you see a pattern that needs addressing, share any similar experiences of yours or anyone you know or have heard of. I am just very curious to see what others have to say.
EDIT: After reading more about "shut-out", reflecting on the respective experiences of my partner and me both, I have come to the conclusion that my immediate instinct was the correct one. I have not done anything wrong. The device is working marvelously. I am not "over-doing it". The medicine is simply telling me to wait a moment. Once again, so many dots are connecting, and there are more and more affirmations that this is not just a chemical that makes our brains play tricks on us, but so much more. So. Much. More.
I am not going to continue increasing the dosage. My partner is reporting excellent results with microdosing and I rather enjoy the mild visuals of small doses periodically. I will continue to commune with my higher self, integrate my experiences, live my life, and listen for the call to my next step on this new path.
UPDATE: So, I had made the conscious decision that I would continue my regular small doses without increasing the amount which was my original intention. I got home today from work, loaded 10mg in the vape, walked out onto the porch and the only intent I had was to have a moment of peace. I didn't think about anything else, didn't do my breathing routine, just hit the vape, sat back, and let it flow. The waviness started which is of course what I was expecting. Then, all of a sudden, everything changed color and it was like someone turned a flood light onto the world. I closed my eyes and I was immediately in the entity domain only this time, instead of the typical blue/green patterns and textures, it was pink/orange, and it was beautiful, loving, radiance. I felt my familiar entity but was a little taken aback by the drastic change in color, however it all felt so welcoming, as if the message was literally "welcome".