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ms_manic_minxx
Moderator
#1 Posted : 1/4/2010 5:26:16 AM
Does anyone else ever feel sometimes, after such incredibly powerful experiences, completely emotionally stripped to the core, soul raw and exposed? On top of that, I'm also experiencing a slight egoic disconnect: feeling crazy for having gone so far, and in rational disbelief that it happened (the mind trying to distance itself from the power of the message).

In short, last night, it was my 3rd night of Aya and the Changuar. Basically, I spontaneously broke into song and magnificent weeping, my heart expanded to encompass the pain of our dying Earth, I had a fullblown Kundalini opening, and I ended up outside (note: this was done SAFELY), face down, in the snow, grabbing handfuls of frozen grass, praying to and pleading with the Earth, that she might live.

I communicated directly with Gaia herself. I saw spirits all over the earth--waterfalls, animals running through fields, beautiful forest scenes--disappearing, just like candles being snuffed. Disappearing into memory. Humans need to remember her, remember their Mother... how many even know what a handful of dirt feels like? She yearns to have a relationship with us so badly, and is infinitely forgiving.

I wept so hard, pushed the pain from my heart, through my chest, out my throat. My hair was soaking wet from tears. Spirits of local forest animals--raccons, squirrels, chipmunks, all came and sat around me. The plants know. Everyone on Earth knows... except for us.

Just sobbing, singing, praying.

I could have gone back tonight, but I opted to take a day to just let this one really settle in. Someone sent me Michael Jackson's "Earth Song," I never thought MJ could make me cry so hard.

I just feel so open, stripped down, exposed--and while it wasn't scary, post-ceremony, it absolutely shocks my rational mind, and I have a slight mental fear for integration.

The Earth moves through me...

My openness and sensitivity have reached a new level (though, my new intention is to learn the art of surrender).

Can anyone share thoughts if the "bareness" resonates? Thanks. Smile
Some things will come easy, some will be a test
 
jamie
Salvia divinorum expert | Skills: Plant growing, Ayahuasca brewing, Mushroom growingSenior Member | Skills: Plant growing, Ayahuasca brewing, Mushroom growing
#2 Posted : 1/4/2010 6:16:30 AM
Yes...I have spent nights crying with mushrooms becasue of our unconciousness..

I have had times where I was eating mushrooms for days and days..wandering around on the beach..not leaving and sleeping in the woods feeling so totally helpless in the face of what is happening..feeling like some lost sould cast aside..wishing that everyone could see what I was seeing, and feeling..

I felt like that for a long time until one night 3 beings of light came to me after some mushrooms and told me why I am here..and what we are ALL a part of..

I wouldnt trade those experiences for anything...nothing was the same after..

Glad Im not the only one..this is a great thread...full of love!

Oh and im listening to earth songVery happy , thanks minxx!

Long live the unwoke.
 
Phlux-
Chemical expertSenior Member
#3 Posted : 1/4/2010 10:03:28 AM
awesome post man.
antrocles wrote:
...purity of intent....purity of execution....purity of experience...

...unlike the "blind leading the blind". we are more akin to a group of blind-from-birth people who have all simultaneously been given the gift of sight but have no words or mental processing capabilites to work with this new "gift".

IT IS ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT WE ARE WILLING TO EXPOSE OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ANNIHILATION THAT WE DISCOVER THAT PART OF OURSELVES THAT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE.


Quote:
‹Jorkest› the wall is impenetrable as far as i can tell


Quote:
‹xtechre› cheese is great


He who packs ur capsules - controls your destiny.

 
gammagore
Moderator
#4 Posted : 1/4/2010 10:34:08 AM
Beautifull read.

Thanx ms_minxx
 
biopsylo
#5 Posted : 1/4/2010 3:28:19 PM
every tear you shed for Gaia is felt, understood, and transmitted to the liquid crystal core. and like little droplets each magnifying and returning the energy and understanding to where it is needed most. thank you.
 
elphologist1
#6 Posted : 1/5/2010 12:21:30 AM
I think that, besides opening us up to new ideas and thoughts, psychedelics in general also have an effect on brain chemistry that lasts beyond the trip itself. That could explain some of these experiences.

elphologist
 
burnt
Extreme Chemical expertChemical expertSenior Member
#7 Posted : 1/5/2010 6:21:57 PM
Quote:
Does anyone else ever feel sometimes, after such incredibly powerful experiences, completely emotionally stripped to the core, soul raw and exposed? On top of that, I'm also experiencing a slight egoic disconnect: feeling crazy for having gone so far, and in rational disbelief that it happened (the mind trying to distance itself from the power of the message).


Know the feeling well. After being blown to bits coming back to reality can be a bit strange / difficult to integrate. My advise is honestly to not take it too seriously. Quite reflection about what it all meant over the next few weeks is essential to re-grounding and not losing ones 'shit'.

Also note that what you initially thought it meant might not be what it all really meant. Again this is why the quite reflection and not taking it all too seriously is so important.

SWIM balls (cries eyes out) everytime SWIM has a profound psychedelic experience nothing to be ashamed of.
 
tryptographer
#8 Posted : 1/5/2010 10:03:29 PM
Maybe it's possible to take it both seriously and ground well. Anyway: take the time to process before diving in the deep again!
 
 
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