Hi..

Im new here, and im from sweden so excuse my English. Im going to try to cut this as short as i can.

Ive been on xanax for 7 years now. Been so ruined mentally that i was close to the edge so to speak.
Then 7 months ago i found dmt... it changed my life.. made me see the beauty of this world for the first time. Never been so happy. I have smoked dmt for about 70-80 times with breakthrues. It came to a point where it even made me quit benzo.. with NO withdrawl !

Then i started working again. Work with disabled people so it takes my energy away.. i was clean for 1 month, then i started using xanax again.

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3 months ago i smoked the dmt as i usally do, i use it every other week in the end. This time, all i saw was a black void.. no euphoria, no visuals, no nothing. I tought maby i fucked something up cause i did lsd highdose 1 week before.

So i took a break for a month and smoked again, still a black void with a toutch of read colours with no euphoria. I tought maybe i build up a tollerance (but there as no loss of potency, it just stopped working).

So now i took 2 WHOLE months off, been eating 30mg melatonin each night to help me get back faster.
Ive been waiting every fucking day for this, i cant live my life without this medicine. So today i smoked again. And yes.. got yellow shallow visuals with no euphoria. More then last time but after 2 months break and supplemented with melatonin i tought my tollerence was gone.

Im starting to think that i ruined something in my head and i never going to be able to come back.. im so heartbroken i dont know what to do.. i needed this so god damn bad words cant explain.

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I just came home from a 3 days ayahuasca cermony. I got home after 2 days cause it dident work either... The shaman told me that the benzos ruined it and i need to cut it.

And yes, benzo ruin dmt. Ive tried to use it the same day to get the edge off before i smoke and it completly ruins everythins so i know how that work. Thats why i never take benzo before i smoke dmt and it worked every time. Thats why i dont belive that benzo is the problem.

I dont know how much more i can take of this life, i feel dying at heart. I dont got 2 more moths to suffer just to see if the dmt "might" work. I might got no choise but i really hope i do.

Please guys, i need your help in this. What can i do !?

"Lorca warns: Just because Then, happened, doesn't mean that Now, isn't"

I have a story similar to yours, led to the turning point, by mental insanity and drug addiction. I lost everything, and couldn't live anymore.

I had an experience of surrender, not unlike DMT. While I was not on DMT at the time, it was clear to me whatever was there was the same thing.

Afterwards, I forgot. At least, I was the same as I was before. But something was different. I chose to believe that whatever that thing was it was still there. I got clean for a year, developed my spirituality, that began with that experience of surrender.

After a year I tried psychedelics, DMT, again, looking for that experience. The message it shouted back at me was : "What are you doing here again? We've already shown you this, You already know this, what do you think is going to happen?"

Perhaps it is sending you a message, 'you need not look here'.
DMT is only a messenger, not the savior. Trust, in what you experienced, in what was undeniably there, what saved your life. Few are blessed with such an experience. You don't need to constantly see it, to know that it is still there. It's not going away. It's here NOW.

I don't think DMT saved your life. It merely showed you how to save your own life.
Maybe now it's telling you exactly that...time to do it yourself. Everything DMT can give you, is already present within yourself.

Try meditation and/or physical exercise. Awaken your inner potential.

Hi I hope your problems are a little easier to deal with now. The title you posted caught my eye. But I doubt if anyone can really say why you are not having the experiences you used to, but I am pretty sure it has nothing to do with an LSD trip---as if the dmt were jealous or the acid changed something somehow.Especially if the acid trip was a good one. However 30 mg of melatonin is a horribly high amount to take, when 1 mg is quite enough if you're having sleep problems, because I've read the amount produced by the pineal during sleep is in the ug range---not mg. And since it is an end product --not a building block like tryptamine or tryptophan are to larger compounds like dmt or serotonin it will not help with the production of dmt in the brain. The long term Xanax use is the issue here---why you needed it, and why you started taking it again. Have you considered maybe a slightly larger dose, or maybe the cittrate version with an MAOi ??? You can write me at Email addy removed by mod attitude Thanks for trying to help, though if you want

Hey,

I hope your doing ok. We all go through ups and downs in life and trust me I've felt it.

I don't think DOT is the answer to a better life although it could point you the way so to speak and as others have said, it might have helped show you.

Whatever is causing you the stress you need to get rid of and then you can get rid of the xanax . Whatever it is that is stressing you can be changed or done away with or looked at from a different angle and xanax won't do that. It is a garbage drug, please get off of it asap and be safe about it.

Do whatever you need to do to make your life better and get rid of whatever is making it worse.

All the love. Pm me if you want.

I'm experiencing the same black void, like dark static, when vaping spice. While with my eyes open colours still look more alive and crisp and there's still an internal dialogue going on, when I close my eyes there's this dark blanket that shields me from all the geometric swirling and dancing that's going on. I can still see them very faintly in the distance if I concentrate on this static. The moment I used to breaktrough and got pulled out of my body is now replaced by a flash and then the above...
The way I feel it, it seems that my mind (ego) has created a filter or protection from all the absurd and overwhelming images you get shown on dmt. I've tried oral ayahuasca and magic truffels recently,but the same thing happens.

MAO inhibitor seems to help a little bit, but not much.

Very strange, but seems to be happening to more people nowadays...

Damn.. do you think u smoked to much?

I cant belive i found the best thing on this planet, to then stop working......

Hey man. so probably the oversimplified science is that because DMT, like any other psychedelic drugs, latches on to your serotonin receptors (which regulates a lot of basic shit like breathing, sleeping etc.) and create the so called DMT effect. And according to your information you have taken LSD one week prior.

You see, don't go hard on psychedelics cause it can burnout your receptors --i don't know if there's another term for this -- because it's so intense.
I know I did, few years back I did LSD couple of times in a row, and it turned me into this lazy sloth of a person. Because at that point I was experiencing severe anxiety that makes me want to lock myself up in a room and see nobody and do nothing. I was nothing like this before, I was always moving although not perfectly jolly, but quite a mover.

Took me around a year in a half to gain stable motivation in life again, after being jobless for more than 6 months on benefit. It's a lot of work. You just got to straighten up your whole psyche again from scratch. It is possible. Because in the end, what psychedelic drugs does is only show you the truth. but it doesn't make it your reality, you have to work it out manually. unfortunately.

This post was written last year, I don't know if you still have this problem. but please, if you still do don't give up. You can make it, it is just a matter of healing yourself through time and good direction.
You have to work out your motivation, constantly soul-search, exercise, do what makes you feel good. trust yourself.

Peace&Love

I hope you are doing okay.

I'm curious if you ever got DMT working for you again ?

I'm dealing with dmt not working like it used to as well, And i have no idea why.

It's frustrating that no one seems to know why this weird phenomenon occurs.

I hope things are going good in life for you.

Take care.