Hi Franlover

I’m cautious about commenting about your post - it’s a personal and delicate subject, I’m no expert, I only have a little to go on, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. However it sounds like you’re asking for help. If what I say doesn’t resonate, feels wrong, or whatever - just tell yourself “ho ho ho, this guys a fucking idiot that doesn’t know what he’s talking about!”

“The devil” can be symbolic of our bad judgement, things we have done wrong and our guilt about this. (In the Jewish tradition Satan -meaning literally “the accuser” - was actually an angel, he didn’t do bad things and instead pointed out man’s wrongdoing. The Christian tradition amalgamated figures from the older tradition as a single figure, influenced by Zoroastrian dualism, to create a source of evil externalised from God)

To me, placing an object in a window seems to symbolise putting something on display to the world.

Based on the things you said in your post I might suggest the following;

Perhaps you have feelings of guilt that your smoking somehow was an act that condoned your mothers smoking, that if you had quit sooner perhaps your mother would have too.

As a smoker, with three kids, that is desperate to quit - I can certainly understand feeling of guilt associated with that activity, but more importantly how proud you should be of yourself for quitting.

Hopefully what I said was helpful, if not - I’m a fucking idiot, just ignore me.

Hey FRANLOVER!!!!! SENDING LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR MOM! I felt like crying reading your post! I feel like I already know you (actually I do can ya tell from my writing? lost my pw from other name haha) Anyway man your going through ALOT right now. I would agree with the thought of the new supplements might be influencing things. But being there with your mom is for sure going to kick things up since she aint doing great. If my mom was in that position I would feel like someone is taking her away too! AND THAT SUCKS!!! Talk about this with her! I think that will help more than anything else. Maybe she will help you put the pieces togather. I think its great that your mom quit smoking, working on meditations and mindfulness with you. You have so much to teach! Make sure you keep this up with her the whole time your there! Spend all the time you can with her and make sure its a good time! Teach her what you've learned and let her teach you. Growth works both ways. And PLEASE remember YOU ARE STRONG! That's the devils secret he knows that we have the power to identify him for who he is and we have the power to tell him to F*** OFF! He tries to make us think we are weak so he can torment and control us! CHALLENGE HIM say to him before you go to sleep "if you come I will fight and I will WIN!" Face it head it on! You got this! MUCH LOVE MAN HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!

Hope your reading this since its in the welcome section!

You guys are so sweet. I Just cant...

Thank you so much. Y'all are beautiful.

Gandalf the obsevation is dead on. I actually felt (dont anymore) that in someway my smoking hurt my mom. As if we were all one big organism and in someway my smoking affected her through some quantum leap. It sounds absurd written down, but just a month ago I used to actually feel guilt about it. In any case now that I'm nicotine free I dont have to deal with that guilt anymore.

You guys are real neat♡

I’m glad to hear that fran - sometimes we’ve just got to be brave enough to look under the bed to realise there really isn’t anything underneath it.

Hopefully I can be as strong as you and kick the dirty habit.

All the best to you and yours x