Hey everyone, so I thought I would share a recent pharmahuasca trip. I'm not sure if it really counts as a "first step in hyperspace" considering I've been using DMT on and off for over 2 years. But I'm still waiting for that elusive full membership, so here seems like a good place.

My only experiences with DMT obtained from MHRB were with vaping. I had never done pharmahuasca with DMT fumarate from MHRB. I had some experience with DMT frumarate from ACRB. However that DMT was very weak in my experience. The only notable trip from the ACRB fumarate was when I took ~180mg orally with a ~4.5g Syrian Rue tea and then smoked a fat unweighed bowl of DMT freebase WHILE on the trip. That kicked my ass. I'm pretty sure I posted that trip awhile back. Feel free to check it out. But overall the DMT I got from the ACRB felt really weak. I don't know if it was because of a high NMT content or the stuff I had was bad or what. The point is, I was not too impressed with the ACRB.

Living in the US, it's hard to get MHRB. So when I finally got some I was pretty excited. I knew I was going to do a fumarate extraction. After some hurdles, I ended up with a good amount of DMT fumarate from MHRB. My expectations were that it would work better than the fumarate from ACRB. I certainly expected more visuals. I did not expect to get my ass kicked. But of course that's how it goes.

This paragraph is kind of silly; you can skip it if you want. You know how in sitcoms a character will often give a character some money and say "go see a movie" in order to pass some time? And then that movie is never discussed afterwards? What is that? Who goes to a movie and then never so much as mentions it? It always seemed unrealistic to me. Movies are always made out to be "larger than life", but sitcoms treat them like they're just some passage of time. That's often what I expect out of a DMT trip. I think "oh gee, I'll take some DMT, it will be a good way to pass some time!" Then I take it, and I'm like "oh yeah that's right...", it's way more than a simple passage of time. DMT Trips are like movies... they're larger than life... except unlike movies DMT trips actually ARE larger than life.

So, I handled ~200mg of DMT fumarate from my weak ACRB batch pretty well. I figure, hey why can't I do that with MHRB? It will be equally as mellow, just with more visuals! I also had exactly 5.6g from my old batch of Syrian Rue. I decided I would use it up.

Before I forget, let me discuss the setting. It happened to be the 4th of July holiday. It was a Friday. My politics class was out. I did not have class again until Monday. I had no homework over the weekend. It was a beautiful day outside. It seemed like a great time to trip!

I did not weigh the DMT fumarate. But I filled up 2 empty Adderall XR 10mg capsules as much as I could with the DMT. In my experience, these empty capsules hold about 100mg each. So that's 200mg. I prepared the 5.6g rue tea with water and lemon juice. I drank the tea (yucky). I watched some King of the Hill while I waited for the rue to kick in. After 30 minutes, at exactly 2:00PM, I took one capsule. 10 Minutes later at 2:10PM I took the other capsule.

I grabbed a piece of bread and a bottle of water and went for a walk around my college campus. Except I didn't get very far. I probably ate only half the single piece of bread before tossing it aside. Those squirrels/birds would eat it. The campus was virtually empty due to the holiday. Probably a good thing. I made it to the rec center before feeling nauseous. I sat down on the curb for a few minutes. I was sweating and not feeling too great. I decided I had better get back to my apartment soon.

I got to this small park area featuring a few trees and a large steel picnic table. Right before I made it to this park area, a voice inside my head spoke to me.

"Do you want this?"... No! I don't want this! I remembered all the intensity and suffering that comes with a heavy DMT trip. I thought the only way out was to throw up. Now. It happened in slow motion - as if I was connected with God - I threw up a small bit. Then I stumbled over to the bench. I was very sweaty. I vomited a decent amount. I thought that was going to be my main purge. I found out later I was super wrong.

I laid in the grass looking up at the trees. The sun shone through. It was beautiful. I felt like I had just entered the world. I wanted to stay there, but I knew I had to make it to my apartment. I didn't know why I had to make it to my apartment, but I knew I had to. At the time, I thought my trip wasn't going to happen because of throwing up too early. But I was completely wrong.

I get up and start walking back, accepting the belief that I threw up too early and the trip wasn't going to happen. I was fine with that. I didn't want an intense trip. I wanted a simple passage of time (see that movie paragraph). I was thinking about how brutal heavy DMT trips are. You go to the "fun zone" where impossible things happen. The entities look so happy and the visuals are SUPER cool, but you just want it to end. I never understood that. I didn't want to go back to that fun zone. I just wanted to be me.

On my way back, I saw some guy I had never seen before heading the opposite direction. He looked about my age (21) and he was wearing sunglasses. I decided I would speak to him as we passed each other.

"Sup"
"Hey" he replied.

I'm sure he had no fathomable idea what I was doing. Here I am just some random normal looking guy who's taking dimethyltryptamine on this Fourth of July. I don't know why I still remember that guy. Maybe it's because he's the only person I talked to on the trip. Maybe it's because I just had that experience under the trees. Regardless, he stood out.

I walk back to my place thinking about how I want to make the most of life and how I don't want to go back to the "fun zone". Well about that...

I get in my apartment. The TV is on. I had on World Cup Soccer, as my On Demand King of the Hill episode had ended. I laid on my couch and sure enough I got some visuals. Then some diet commercial comes on. NO! I think. I'm not listening to this diet commercial crap! At this point I knew the trip was going to happen. With my last bit of strength I stumbled over to the TV and shut it off. I got back to the couch and laid down. And here we go.

I started by passing through a veil. I saw myself in full detail. Like I literally saw me. Next thing I knew, I was in the other dimension. Full of impossible designs and architecture. Futuristic. Do you ever wonder why Macs and i-Pods look the way they do? It's because Steve Jobs did DMT (well actually I'm not sure if he did DMT... I know he did acid... whatever). You know those impossible staircases and labyrinths? My visuals were like that only cooler. There was one part where this empty pool sort of thing transferred into this entity's arm which went into his third eye. There were colors. Electric blue. Intense purples. Vibrant greens. These visuals rocked.

There were some weird ones too. For example, at one point I saw myself as a woman, which was pretty weird. I learned that gender is ultimately meaningless in hyperspace. But overall I had some amazing visuals. And since it was pharmahuasca, I had ample time to transition between them and experience them. It was like a smoked freebase trip, except it didn't feel like I was shot out of a cannon, but rather I was moving slowly down a river.

And guess what... I hated every second of it! No joke! I never understood this. The better my visuals are, the more uncomfortable I feel! The trip was too intense for me to handle! I just wanted it to end! Here I was seeing some amazing visuals, and I just wanted to escape.

I kept telling the entities "let me go, let me go!", and they just smiled. They looked so happy. This was when I learned for sure that evil came before good. The only way good can exist is from the relief of escaping from evil. You need evil before you can have good. I always knew that good existed because of evil, but I now understood that evil had to come before good.

This went on for roughly 2 hours. Great visuals. Impossible designs. Another dimension. If I opened my eyes my visuals were pretty weak, but my apartment was still looking sort of unusual. The visuals seemed to get stronger as time passed. But I was about to hit the climax.

I'm not exactly sure what this entity looked like. I was still pleading to be released and for everything to go back to normal. The entities before had only smiled and laughed at me. This one finally gave me an answer.

"There is no escape. You're stuck here forever. This is infinity."

No. NO!!!!!! I wanted to get away but there was no escape. I became really scared. I needed to get out of this. My initial thought went to suicide. But where would I go? The same place! Even death couldn't save me from the endlessness. The trip was never going to end, and even death itself couldn't get me out of this. I was helpless.

I got up, somehow made it to my kitchen sink, and I threw up. Violently. Alot more than I threw up at the park. Alot. This was a complete and total purge. Getting everything out of my system. If my neighbors were around, they heard it. This was heavy.

I didn't even make it back to the couch. I fell on the floor. Still trapped as ever. I starting punching the floor. I didn't know what else to do. The visuals were still going strong. My open-eyed visuals were getting stronger too. My apartment was starting to vanish as I felt as though I was entering the beyond.

I needed to come down. There was no way I was doing this anymore. I couldn't kill myself because I would just go to the same place. I wasn't ready to die. Death will come someday when I'm ready (hopefully many many years from now) but I needed to make peace with the world first someday. But in the short term, I needed to come down. I did the only thing I could do.

I stumbled (ah stumbling, a common theme of this trip) over to my kitchen and got some bread. I brought it back to the couch with some water. I forced down some bread. I forced down some water. It FINALLY made me start to come down a little.

I called some loved ones on the phone. They knew I was tripping. Whatever. I listened to them about ANYTHING. I didn't care if I was listening to a mundane story from my mom. I just wanted to hear anything to get my mind off the trip. It worked pretty well. The trip ended and I was left with a big headache, literally. I went on the DMT-Nexus chat and talked about the trip for awhile, maybe you were there.

So I had some major take-aways from this trip. One was the evil came before good thing. Fairly simple enough.

The other one is a little more complicated. It's kind of 2 things within one. I'll do my best to explain it. Considering I haven't tripped since this experience, it won't be easy to describe. Here I go.

We all come from the same source. If you break apart light and all that exists and put it into a string of light, you would find that we're all one giant string of light. I am you and you are me. We are everything. All that exists and has ever once exists is essentially us. Even if a person were to die, they would still be part of this string of light. There is no escape. We are stuck here, and even death cannot change that fact. There was no beginning, and there will never be an end. We are stuck in infinity. Since we exist in infinity, everything that is possible and impossible will eventually occur at some point. There is no end. It goes forever. And we are all one. There is no way out. For me this thought is incredibly scary. Maybe I'll learn to accept it better someday.

During and immediately after the trip I was strongly convinced I would never do DMT again. Of course I knew a few hours later that I would eventually change my mind. As I said, I haven't done DMT since this trip. I think I'll relax for a few months. I want my next trip to be MHRB fumarate again. ACRB is a waste of time, and freebase is too short to take any real meaning from it. I will probably grow mushrooms again someday, but for now I don't have the time or the desire. So my next trip will most likely be MHRB fumarate.

Will it be another 200mg trip? Absolutely not. That was too intense. Maybe at some point I'll try that level again. But I'm thinking a 100mg trip would be alot easier to handle. I'll probably stick to a 3.5-4g rue tea. Or maybe I'll stop being so damn lazy and finally get some caapi. I don't know yet. It will probably be a few months before I start thinking about this. But the day will come.

Well guys, thanks for reading. If you actually read the entire thing I really appreciate it. Lots of love to all of you.

We're all one.

That is pretty serious. would you consider smoking it instead of the longer pharma trip? Anyway thanks for posting!

I have smoked it. Many times. I consider the pharmahuasca trip to be more worthwhile. The smoking experience is too short to take anything away from it, and it's hard for me to process the short 15-20 minute experience. That said, when I was first starting out the smoking experience was a great way to get my feet wet. But now I want more than just a "cool experience". I want the personal healing and extended exploration that you can only get with pharmahuasca. You can't get that by smoking DMT.

Ah, someone who likes to go big like me. I take 315mlg DMT with 250mlg Syrian Rue hydrochoride, though this is my limit thus far, I don't need to push it any further . . . just yet (and of course, don't try this at home, kids; consult your local physician and all that) And, yes, I smoke on top of this dose, I'm crazy like that (I have a higher tolerance than some, not bragging, just a simple truth).

And I agree with you Mr. Poads: smoke alone is too short, I need dem harmalas flowing through me.

So it appears I have received some criticism in the form of a PM. As a new member, I cannot reply to it. So unfortunately, I have to bring it to the forum. Trust me, I would love to keep this unnecessary drama restricted to a PM. I really would. But I feel obligated to reply and stick up for myself so I have to post it here. Seriously mods, you should make it so new members can reply to PMs, this is ridiculous.

I won't identify the member that sent this message. I'll let him/her make that decision. But here was the message that I received:

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"Hi,

I don't want to comment on your thread, since I don't want to publicly embarrass you, but you did everything wrong. There is plenty info on how to take pharma. you just don't swallow anything anywhere, you are lucky that it didn't go much much worst... I will write instructions on how to do pharma, and what is pharma per se, which is something you don't seem to understand eather.

You can apologise for your carelessness and make yourself look better and more responsible."

(name removed to protect identity)

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Well I'm no stranger to public embarrassment. I'm certainly not going to apologize for my actions, especially when I don't feel I did anything wrong. But here is the reply I attempted to send:

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"Hey I understand your concern, but don't go busting my balls. It was a great day, and I wanted to take in the outdoors. I went outside immediately after dropping the fumarate. I figured I had roughly 45 minutes to an hour before the trip would actually kick in. I was outside for less than 30 minutes. I threw up outside and laid in the grass for a couple of minutes. Then I made it back to my apartment safe and sound. So what? I was never in any real danger.

My only mistake was underestimating the amount of time that it would take for the DMT to kick in. And either way I made it back to my apartment before the bulk of the trip kicked in. I would absolutely have gone outside again. My only regret was that the dose was too large. That was my mistake, and I'll learn from it.

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I'll probably make some more sooner or later. And I know you're ultimately trying to help. Your intentions are good. But do me a favor and don't worry about me. I'm a big boy, and I can take care of myself and make my own decisions. I don't need people busting my balls over the choices I make.

And here's some friendly advice. Don't act so condescending. You'll piss people off that way. People will be more likely to take your advice to heart if you phrase your suggestions a little nicer.

I'm sure you're a nice person, and I don't doubt your experience. But let me worry about me.

All the best,

- Poads"

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Again, sorry I had to bring drama to the public sphere. I would have kept this in PM if I could. But nobody else is going to stick up for me, and I don't deserve to be given a hard time.

You know who you are. If you want to send me another PM, go for it. If you want to move our conversation here, that's fine too. If you have nothing left to say to me, no problem. I'm just hoping you see the reply.

Hi all,

The member in question ^^^ is me.

For apologies,

I was thinking that since you are up for promotion, showing some sense of responssability, and recognising that you misunderstood the set and setting is helpful to get you promoted.

But if you think you did all well, that it was not misunderstanding of pharma and the setting of the trip, but the only problem was the quantity... Then you made it clear now.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with the setting of my trip. I went on a pre-trip walk to clear my mind and mentally prepare myself. It didn't work too well, but I don't consider it to be an irresponsible decision.

The trip itself took place inside my own apartment. Free from any distractions or problems. I can't think of a better place to have a trip.

To further prove my point, the trip occurred on a day where I had no obligations, and I wouldn't have any for the next 2 days. I had been planning the trip for over 2 weeks. If that isn't responsible, then I don't know what is.

My only "irresponsible" action (which wasn't really irresponsible, but more of a misjudgment, which anyone could have made) was assuming that 200mg would be easy to handle. I'll accept responsibility for that. But if you think I'm going to accept responsibility for an action that wasn't irresponsible, then you're mistaken.

And I ask anyone else who thinks my "setting" was irresponsible to please speak up. Jeez this "new member" thing is stupid. Full members dangle it over your head like it's some kind of carrot or something so they can act all elitist. Well I'm not an ass-kisser. If you don't want to vote for me, don't. Simple as that.

I don't know about Pharma. But I find that people most of the time have useful things to say. That is, if you choose to listen.

I don't think the problem was that you took too much, either. Maybe. But to me it was more likely the headspace you had while getting into the trip. As you said, it's not a movie. I don't normally prepare 2 weeks for watching a movie. I do that when I go travel. And like ur DMT trip. You went traveling instead of a movie. I remember having an awfull reaction to a low dose of LSD. But my mindset when going in was that I was going to do this thing. So i still ended up having a good time. So despite realizing that I was in anguish and that this would be a good setting for a Hell. When the trip finally started to wear off, I even got sad about it. I'm positive that This pre-mindset is determent for the entire duration of the trip. I think you will have an equally bad time on a low dose if it happens to be slightly stronger than you expected. That's why I recommend going in with a different attitude. Good luck on ur journeys! Enjoy ur break.

Hopefully you can take this as a learning experience. 5.6g syrian rue is definitely overkill. 200mg DMT fumarate is a sort of meaningless number out of context since people's sensitivities range so vastly, but it's clear that in your case, it was probably way too high, but you recognize this as well. I can sympathize with you to the extent to want to be outside for a portion of it, but there are so many logistical concerns. For myself personally, I not only prefer to be inside, but I tend to prefer to be somewhere where I won't plan on moving an inch for possibly hours: not changing rooms...not changing my location in the room, etc...For me pharma can be so sedating that the mere act of getting off the couch can take 15 minutes of willpower, and that's with a DMT dose that is at about a quarter of what you took. I'm not saying you have to do it just like me, but we're all here to learn from each other.

Maybe pharma isn't for you. I understand your frustrations with the short duration of vaping DMT, so maybe you should try vaping on syrian rue without the oral ingestion of DMT. This will give you an experience of medium duration, you won't have the anxiety of being "stuck" for so long, and it may be at an intensity level which is more suited to your character. I can appreciate journeying in silence, but when things do get hairy, perhaps some pleasant music is in order. It doesn't have to be super-trippy or psychedelic electronica or whatever...pick out some music that typically puts you in a good head space. I find journeying in silence to be interesting because it reveals what seems to be to be the natural unfolding of the experience, but sometimes a little intervention is needed and sound is an ideal medium for modifying the direction of an experience. Something with a little groove wouldn't hurt either...hyperspace seems to have an affinity for groove...If your actions begin to reflect your plans for more responsible tripping, and having positive, constructive posts, I'm sure that a promotion is lingering for you just around the corner

Thanks for the replies Global and Infected. Some music would have been nice. But I don't think it would have made me feel any better. I was tripping too hard to care. Plus I was too out of it to manage a computer. Maybe next time. I do have a good trip list of music that I've used in the past. I think I wanted to go silent this time because I wanted the "full experience". That entity telling me I was stuck there forever really made the trip more powerful for me, for better or worse. I don't know if that would have happened with music.

I think my first plan of action is to take a break, I'm already over 2 weeks into that. I tend to space out my trips. Lately I've been doing DMT roughly every 4 months.

Right now I'm sitting on alot of fumarate which I want to use up. I could convert some into freebase I guess, but I'm leaning toward trying pharma again. I did appreciate the slow pace that came with phamahuasca. I don't think I would get that slow pace with a vaped experience. I do appreciate the suggestion to try vaping while on harmalas. But I think I have some unfinished business with pharma. I'd like to try a dose of 100mg or less. I'll probably end up doing 80mg just to be safe.

My expectations have changed as well. You gotta understand my mindset, as strange as it may seem. My last DMT experiences had been during March over my college's spring break period. I had 3 pharma experiences with fumarate from ACRB. I guess my batch was weak because two of those trips were with ~180-200mg of fumarate and over 4g of rue. And those trips felt like baby trips. It wasn't until I smoked DMT freebase while on one of those trips that I got my good ol' fashioned ass kicking which I've come to know. So naturally I thought I would be able to handle 200mg of fumarate from MHRB better. This trip truly humbled me, and it needed to happen. Better now than later.

Overall I took some good lessons away. Even if the trip itself was uncomfortable, the come down was good. And I got to see some awesome visuals. I felt really good the next day.

OP just curious, did you actually ever weigh the DMT? You may or may not know this but you can't "eyeball" a pile of DMT crystals really. You've pretty much got to take a scale out to get a realistic measurement.

I think try again if you feel the need but go to amazon and pick up a GEM milligram scale for $20.

I do own some scales already. For what it's worth, I have used empty 10mg XR adderall capsules in the past. I have filled them completely, emptied them, and then weighed the contents. I tested this 4-5 times using different DMT fumarate. EVERY time it was between 95mg and 105mg. I think 100mg per capsule is a pretty safe estimate. So no, I didn't weigh the DMT for that particular voyage, but I'm confident I took ~200mg.

that looks very hard trip to handle. I hope next time it would be beatifull for you. I just feel sad for the ones who got a bad trip

The issue I see with using the capsule as means of weight estimate would lie in the potential for different density.

I've noticed a different density/weight ratio on almost every batch.

I've found that density can play a huge difference in weight, but not always in visual appearance. One batch may fill a larger volume, but have a lower weight than a batch that is more dense, yet fills a lesser volume.


Either way, good luck on the next journey.