The below experience report is quite long, maybe too long, so feel free to skip the preparation part. You'll find the actual trip report further down.
Also I'd like to mention that English isn't my first language, so I might express myself in an unusual way here and there.
Physical/mental preparationToday is the 3rd of September 2022
Here's a little background information.
My interest in Mescaline has been sparked while reading the book "doors of perceptions" by Aldous Huxley, when I was about 20 years old. That was 18 years ago and I still haven't tried it, even though I have some san pedro cacti growing in my garden since a few years. The long duration of this experience and unpredictability in potency made me decide against trying it so far, as I got family around.
Psychedelics always played a big role in my life. I enjoyed mushrooms for the first time when I was 16 and they have accompanied and guided me along my path ever since. For me mushrooms are teachers, guides, keys to other worlds, therapists and so much more unified in one organism. Cannabis has also been a valuable part of my life, since I was a teenager. Other than mushrooms and cannabis I experiment with Salvia from time to time and more recently, about a year ago, I set my foot into hyperspace with the help of some self extracted DMT. I grew very fond of the molecule and did some extensive traveling with it, since I first tried it.
I am a father and husband who lost his job due to the pandemic. While my wife works, I take care of the kids, garden and house, which is a job in itself. I salute everyone who raises children and somehow manages to work simultaneously.
During daytime I am a stay-at-home-dad, but once the sun sets and the kids are asleep I like to explore other states of my consciousness. Not being occupied with the usual stressors that an ordinary job brings along, has allowed me to enjoy mushrooms and DMT whenever I felt the call for it. My research in this field has been quite extensive, especially in the last few years, but in a good way. I feel that I learned and grew a lot as a person with the help of these substances.
Soon there will be lots of mayor life changes for my family and I. We will move to another continent and I will be working again. It's going to be a new chapter in our life.
I want to use my remaining time here to try some things I feel I should experience, before I have to focus on rebuilding a life somewhere else in a middle European country that isn't very open-minded, when it comes to the topic psychedelics. Mescaline is one of the things I want experience before I leave. It will be some kind of farewell-and-new-beginnings ritual in one for me. Or at least I hope so.
One interesting phenomenon I have observed with psychedelics is that they find their way to me, if it's really meant to be. You just got to be patient. This is how it happened with DMT and a little while ago it happened again. A kind soul offered me some Mescaline citrate to try. Out of nowhere, not expecting anything in return, just like that. Usually I don't use substances that I haven't grown or extracted myself, but I feel I can trust this person and his abilities, so I was happy to make an exception in this case.
Now I hold 800mg mescaline citrate in my hands, of which I plan on taking 300mg to get an idea, what the cactus can provide.
Harm reduction/prevention is always a priority whenever I try something new, so I spent quite some time reading up on dosing, effects, experience reports and of course I got lots and lots of information from the person who made the extract.
As already indicated, I am usually a night tripper, due to the nature of my primary function in life, being a father.
I have been told that Mescaline is a full day experience, so it has been suggested that I take it in the morning. Initially I felt hesitant to give a day trip a shot, but at the same time I imagined it to be very exhausting to do it at night, not being able to sleep till the morning comes.
I have been assured that it is a very gentle experience in this dose range, which has been confirmed by most experience reports I have read so far.
So 300mg during daytime it is. What about the setting though? I could enjoy that day in my garden, a place that I am very familiar with or I could go out into the wild, like it has been suggested to me. At home I would be in contact with family members that I usually interact with while being sober or maybe slightly buzzed on THC.
I weighed out the pro's and con's and came to the conclusion, that it's best to take the leap of faith and start my journey in the morning by going on a hike in the nearby nature reserve. I know that place very well. My wife will drop me off and pick me up. The route I got in mind usually takes me about 3 hours, but I got the feeling I might be slowed down to take long brakes to enjoy nature. It's probably going to be 5-6 hours out in nature before I call my wife to fetch me. That will give me time to ease into the new headspace.
This is the plan for the day, but I don't mind if it turns out differently, as long as I will have a meaningful experience. I will let it flow however it wants to flow, but it is always good to have a certain structure in mind.
Today is the 23rd of September. Equinox. I planned my trip for tomorrow.
During the last few weeks I prepared myself mentally and physically for this experience. It feels like it is going to be one of those milestones in life and I want to create the set and setting that it deserves.
I prepared myself by hiking up the mountain twice a week for the last couple of weeks. I pushed myself hard, something that I don't plan on doing on my trip. I took some time off from mushrooms and DMT, the only substance I allowed myself to enjoy was Cannabis and even that in lower quantities than usual. I felt it might be a good idea to give my brain a rest from psychedelics before trying Mescaline, even though it's said to be gentle and friendly in lower doses. I did meditate in nature. Another thing I did was rereading "Doors of Perceptions".
I feel well prepared for something one cannot prepare for. The weather forecast looks promising for tomorrow. Sunshine and partially cloudy, which I like, because watching clouds while tripping is something I love to do. Being high up in the mountains, just below the clouds (or just above, if I am really lucky) should be an awesome feeling...
However this morning I woke up, with clouds in my head and a scratch in my throat. I tried to tell myself that I first need to really wake up, surely I am just tired... now it's noon and I know that I won't be able to go on my hike tomorrow as I caught a cold. I am a bit disappointed, but I guess it wasn't time yet. Spring has just started and there will be plenty of opportunities in the coming weeks. Especially since my wife and kids will be on school holidays soon and I won't be limited to pick a day on a weekend.
The more I think about it, the more I come to terms with it.
(P.s. The Saturday I intended for my journey turned out to be overcast and chilly in the afternoon, so I am glad it didn't work out. )
Today is the 30th of September and the weather forecast for tomorrow looks promising. Partially cloudy and 23 degrees Celsius. I feel well prepared, excited and ready, but also a bit of anxiety.
This trip has not even started and it feels like it has been quite a journey already. My physical condition is as good as it hasn't been in three years.
The cactus experience01st of October
We arrived at the nature reserve just before 09:00 o'clock. My breakfast consisted of a banana around an hour earlier and a cup of coffee about two hours earlier. I said bye to my wife and kids, grabbed my backpack and started my hike. The anxiety from the evening before was gone and I was in good spirits.
It was the beautiful, sunshiny morning that I have been waiting for for such a long time. The reserve was claimed by a fire a few months back and most of the proteas and other plants died. But life finds a way and lot's of small plants have established a green blanked below the charred remains of the proteas and trees.
After walking about 5 minutes I noticed an old tortoise on the side of the path which, I like to believe, was a good omen for what was lying ahead of me. So I decided to take the first of the three caps each filled with 100mg Mescaline citrate. As I have a sensitive stomach I decided to space out taking each cap by 5 minutes, thinking it might help releasing the Mescaline a bit slower and therefore being easier on my guts. I left the tortoise alone and continued walking, knowing that everything will run its course now.
Since it was a Saturday and one of the first really nice days of spring, many people were drawn to the outdoors. I had to share the reserve, but that was ok. The further I climbed up the mountain, the less people I met and once I reached the steep rocks, which form the actual mountain, I was basically on my own. About an hour after ingestion I started sweating profoundly and I had to release a couple of burbs. I could taste the chemicals in my mouth and knew the caps must have dissolved in my stomach acids by that time.
The path led me along the foot of the rocky wall. I got to enjoy the most beautiful views over the valley and ocean. I felt very energetic, but at this point it could have just been a normal hiking day. Walking along the narrow path suddenly a rock covered with lichen caught my eye. I think that's when I started to notice a slight change in perception, which couldn't have just been a sign of exhaustion from the ascent. The lichen looked so complex and really stood out from the stone it covered. This must have been 1 1/2 hours after ingestion.
Happily I continued following the path, knowing that soon I will leave the nature reserve and cross over to the property of an old wine farm, which has been spared by the fire. I knew that part of the hike will be full of life and thinking about that made me very happy ...perhaps a little happier than usual
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As soon as I crossed the border between the nature reserve and the wine farm I met two couples hiking. Usually my initial reflex would have been a slight dip in mood, because I want to enjoy that place on my own. I know that's kind of selfish and an area where I can/need to improve a bit. After all everyone should be able to enjoy mother natures artwork and develop a tighter bond with nature in general.
However today I didn't feel that feeling of rejection, I didn't mind other people at all. After a short chat I said bye and continued walking.
Two hours after ingestion I noticed that I had slowed down somewhat, there was no need to rush. My mind felt crystal clear, calm and light, it's difficult to describe. The feeling was in no way comparable with a typical tryptamine experience. Clear thinking, methodical analyzing of the thoughts, all of them on the positive side, that's how I perceived it at that moment. Something else that was something new for me were the enhanced smells. I started paying more attention to the smells when I got a whiff of cinnamon, which is a smell I usually don't smell in nature. Everything just smelled so intense and different, truly the perfumes of nature.
I felt that it was time for a break. A flat boulder just next to the path seemed like a good spot. It was in the shade of the mountain, which was good because the African sun really started beating down from the sky. I brought pineapple, blueberries and a banana along and chose to eat the pineapple first. So fresh, so juicy, so sweet!
After taking in the view over the valley I suddenly started feeling really cold, so I got back on my feet and continued with my hike. I now was on the descent to the vineyards. Back in the sunshine, walking, warmed me up again. Waves of happiness increased to waves of euphoria and I felt like I could just keep on walking foreverrrr. Often I stopped to inspect all the tiny flowers and plants along the way. I really took my time, it felt like I need to pay attention to everything. I owed it to them. Often one just passes by all these little beautiful creations, not giving them the attention they deserve. Mescaline made me aware of that in ways I can only remember faintly from my childhood. It opened my eyes for details. Whenever I saw a lizard or other animal I stopped, kneeled down and took a closer look, wondering how it might be like spending a life as a lizard in such a paradise.
The path continued through a pine forest and I decided to find a new spot to have my blueberries and the banana. I experienced very little stomach problems, so eating wasn't a problem at all.
I left the path and carefully searched for a way through the thick vegetation until I found another shaded boulder to sit on. From the top I had a beautiful view and I knew that I had that place just for my own. Eating the blueberries and banana felt very good! Insects were humming and birds were singing everywhere. These noises accompanied me the whole way, but the depth of the sounds increased. The reflection of the sun on the leaves seemed extra sparkly today. Again I started to feel one with everything, like I did so many times before with the help of tryptamines. I became part of the scenery, just like all the rocks, flora and fauna surrounding me. It felt like the right place and time to take out my dry herb vaporizer and take the tiniest of puffs from my homegrown wedding cake. I was curious what will happen and what a wonderful combination it turned out to be! Cannabis and cactus are good friends, it felt like they are dancing with each other. That little puff was surprisingly effective in increasing the effects of the Mescaline and complimented rather than spoiled it. I read that cannabis tends to bring out the visual aspect of Mescaline and I can confirm now that it does. If I repeat this with a higher dose, it might be wiser to spare the cannabis for the tail-end of the trip, when I am home.
I wondered how music might sound like, when the bird's song was already so beautiful. So I unpacked my headphones, put on some ambient music, closed my eyes and started to meditate, because it felt like the natural thing to do in that moment. There were no closed eye visuals present, but it felt like I was overflowing with energy and euphoria, paired with a sensation that felt like my spirit just kept on flowing up, up, up, up.
After enjoying this sensation I felt my heartbeat speeding up. I could hear my heart pumping and it got so intense that it got a bit uncomfortable. I took off the headphones. Hearing the birds and bees around again immediately relieved that sensation and got me back on track.
I started to worry a bit about the heat and intense sun as I only took 1.5 liters of water with me. While putting on another layer of sunscreen I noticed that my whole body was covered with goose bumps. I felt so cold that I started shivering which was strange, seeing that it was a hot day. I thought this might be the cactus's way of telling me that it's time to move again, so I packed my things and carefully climbed down from the boulder.
South Africa is home to many different snakes, many of them being seriously poisonous. This thought suddenly popped into my mind and starting from the top of my head a tingling sensation ran down my whole body. I knew I was in snake territory and while I contemplated the likelihood whether a snake is around in close proximity I saw it. It was as if I somehow sensed the presence of the snake before I saw it. The snake quickly disappeared in the grass just two meters in front of me. It happened so fast, I couldn't see what species it was. I felt the adrenaline released into my bloodstream. I felt electrified. Carefully I proceeded to find my way through the bush till I reached the path again. The vegetation varied along the way and so did the sounds of nature. Everything seemed so playful. I was happy to see the plants and the plants seemed to be happy to see me. I felt welcomed by nature. At some point, just before I reached the vineyards, I heard the whispering of the leaves in the the light breeze that kept on blowing the entire day. I stopped, closed my eyes and just listened to the trees. That moment I felt a profound sense of peace.
Four hours have gone by since ingestion and it feels like I have experienced so much since then. It was time to call my wife to fetch me from the wine farm. I really looked forward to see my family again. The last bit of my hike led me through a forest. Everything was so green! I walked through a pine forest and enjoyed the powerful smell of the resin.
Finally at 14:00 I arrived at the farm and reunited with my family. Seeing them was a special moment. I needed to drink something, so we got into the car (my wife was driving) and left the farm. Driving was different, all these impressions passing by so quickly. But it also felt strange, as I have spent most of the day in nature away from civilization. Now I found myself in a car in between all the other cars, all of them having their own destination, filled with people minding their own business. Just like I do on any other normal day.
At home, I decided that it was a good idea to have the first swim of the year in our pool. My wife and kids joined. Feeling the cool water on my body was incredible and such a relieve after the long walk. The whole family had lots of fun! After a while I went in to have a hot bath with Epsom salts, which was even more of a relieve for my rubbery legs.
The family planned a braai (aka BBQ) for the afternoon. I had no issues preparing everything. My coordination wasn't impaired in any way. Initially I thought that I might not be very hungry, but I was ravenous like a wolf. I ate a lot, my body needed it after the long walk. Sitting with the whole family wasn't a problem at all. On the contrary, I really enjoyed the company of everyone. Not that I usually don't enjoy family life, but I could observe myself being much more patient in situations I would usually start to get annoyed. My wife later told me that I behaved perfectly normal. This was at around 17:00.
Later around 19:00 I brought the kids to bed, sat down in my pillow covered hanging chair in the garden to enjoy the tail-end of the trip with a bowl of cannabis, while looking at the colorful evening sky. The bong hit was another booster which allowed me to observe a faint glimpse of closed eye visuals after all. They were faint and shy, but I saw grass swaying in the wind, a symmetrical landscape and nets of hexagons. For some reason I couldn't keep my eyes closed for a long time, it was exhausting to keep them closed. So I opened them again and enjoyed looking at the evening sky while listening to music.
By now the effects slowly died down. I felt very exhausted, but in a good way. It was a good day.
Around 22:00 I went to bed. I developed a slight headache and struggled to fall asleep, but that wasn't really bothersome. When I woke up this morning I felt well rested and ready for the day.
This has been one of the most beautiful days in a while and I am very grateful.
I still got 500mg Mescaline citrate and contemplate to do something similar using 500 instead of 300mg.
The first impression that I got from this first taste is that Mescaline is strong, but in a gentle way in this dose range. Like a candle whose flame is small but strong enough to light up a dark room for a long time.
I didn't make peace with the thought of a future life in Europe as I hoped I would. I didn't even think about that topic. Instead Mescaline taught me a few other lessons in a very subtle way. One important aspect of the experience was that all negative emotions and thoughts were simply switched off. This allowed me to see how much easier and more enjoyable life could be without negativity. I am aware that life without a negative side isn't realistic, but when I am honest with myself I know that many of my negative emotions and reactions are unnecessary and avoidable.
In comparison mushrooms tend to reflect what you did wrong in a merciless way. Mushrooms tend to teach based on thoughts and Cactus seems to teach by focusing more on the emotional side of things.
The cactus showed me, how I as a father and husband can improve the interaction with my family in general. For one day it showed me how it would be if I take more time for each family member and be more patient in general. Don't rush, take your time, you owe it to them. Try to ignore the everyday stressors that contribute to you being impatient from time to time.
Also meeting people along the way shouldn't cause a dip in mood, it's just ridiculous to allow this having an influence on my mental state.
I regard these two aspects as areas were I can really improve life for others and myself without a lot of effort.
Thank you Mescaline.
I hope this report will provide someone with some insight of what a light Mescaline experience can look like. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I took a couple of pictures that I feel the need to attach to give you an impression of the beauty of South Africa. A place that I regard as one of the most diverse and beautiful places on this planet. Maybe you want to visit someday
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Each picture shows places and spots that stood out for me that day. They are attached in chronological order.
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